John the Bull is a weirdly funny relic

So, should you watch John the Bull? If you have ten minutes and you like looking at how people used to dress in the 20s, then sure. If you want a deep story or something that makes sense, you're gonna hate it.

It is one of those movies that feels like it was made on a dare over a weekend. The main guy looks like he’s wearing a suit three sizes too big for him.

He walks around with this scowl that is supposed to be intimidating. But he just looks like he’s smelling something really bad under his nose the whole time.

There is this one scene where he’s trying to light a pipe. It takes him forever. Like, the camera just stays on him fumbling with matches for what feels like three minutes.

I think the director forgot to yell cut. Or maybe they just liked the way the smoke looked in the light?

It’s not quite as charming as Penrod, which at least has a bit more going on with the characters. John is just... there. Being a 'bull'.

The physical comedy is hit or miss. Mostly miss, honestly.

He tries to sit down at one point and misses the chair slightly. He doesn't fall, he just kind of wobbles. It’s the kind of mistake you’d leave in if you couldn't afford more film.

I noticed a dog in the background of the street scene. A little terrier thing. It’s way more interesting than what John is doing.

The dog looks at the camera for a second like it knows it’s in a movie. Smart dog.

The film quality on the copy I saw was pretty beat up. Lots of lines and black dots dancing all over the screen.

It actually makes the movie feel more atmospheric than it probably is. Like a ghost story but about a guy who is just annoyed at everyone.

If you’ve seen Oh, What a Kick! you know this era could be really frantic. This one is slower. Way slower.

There is a lady who shows up halfway through. I think she’s supposed to be his wife? Or his sister? They never really say.

She gives him this look that I felt in my soul. It’s the look of someone who has dealt with this man’s nonsense for twenty years.

She’s the best part of the movie, even though she’s only on screen for like sixty seconds. She has this way of moving that makes everyone else look like they are made of wood.

It reminded me a little of the acting in Two Timid Souls, where the expressions do all the heavy lifting. But here, John is just doing one expression: Grumpy.

The title cards are kind of boring too. Just plain text. No fancy borders or anything.

I wonder if the people making this thought it would be a big hit. Or if they were just trying to finish it so they could go get lunch.

There’s a weird bit of editing near the end. John is standing by a fence, then suddenly he’s ten feet away. It’s a jump cut that makes it look like he has superpowers.

He doesn’t have superpowers. He’s just a guy who can't stand still.

Is it better than His Private Life? No way. Not even close. That one actually feels like a movie.

This feels like a rehearsal that someone accidentally saved. But I don't know, there's something nice about how small it is.

It’s just a slice of a very specific, very old time. No explosions, no big drama. Just a guy being a bit of a jerk in a big coat.

The ending is the weirdest part. It just... stops. No big finish. No lesson learned.

He just walks away from the camera and the screen goes black. I sat there for a second wondering if my internet cut out.

Anyway, it’s fine. It’s okay. It’s a bit of history that doesn't demand much from you. 🎥