I watched the 1935 Danish movie Kidnapped and it's wild

If you stumble onto a movie called Kidnapped from 1935, you probably expect some dusty noir or a tense, gritty thriller. Well, prepare to be completely baffled because this is actually a goofy Danish comedy about a kid stuffed in a suitcase. 🧳

Honestly, it’s worth a watch if you love weird, chaotic vintage oddities. But if you want actual suspense or logical storytelling, you will absolutely hate this.

The Suitcase Incident

The plot is just wonderfully absurd from the get-go. We have Basse, who operates a harbor crane, and his buddy Larsen. They spend their days obsessed with the newspapers because there is a massive reward for a missing American girl named Connie.

Then Basse’s sister shows up from America with a massive bag. And—surprise!—the missing kid is just chilling inside it. Like, are we supposed to believe she survived a whole ocean crossing in a leather trunk? The movie never really answers this, and honestly, I love that it doesn't care.

The kid is played by Connie Meiling, who was basically Denmark's answer to Shirley Temple. She’s cute, I guess, but after ten minutes of her aggressive grinning, you might find yourself wanting to put her back in the box. It is a very far cry from the heavy, tragic vibes of something like Diary of a Lost Girl.

Oddly Specific Moments

There is this one scene at the harbor that goes on for way too long. Basse is just messing around with his crane, lifting random cargo, and the camera just... watches. I think the filmmakers just really liked showing off the harbor equipment. It feels like they forgot they were making a movie about a kidnapping and just wanted to film a documentary about port logistics. 🏗️

Also, the logic of the adults is completely cooked. Nobody seems particularly worried that a literal child has been smuggled across international borders by a relative. Instead, they mostly worry about how to get the reward money without getting thrown in jail. It’s hilarious how casual everyone is about the crime.

If you've seen other early search-and-rescue films like Where Is Coletti?, you know how chaotic European cinema from this era can get. But this one takes the cake for the most relaxed attitude toward child abduction ever put on film.

"Wait, is she actually in the bag? Yes. Yes, she is. And nobody is calling the police."

Ib Schønberg is in this too, and he’s always a treat, even when he’s just screaming his lines. He has this frantic, sweaty energy that keeps the second half from totally dragging. Though, the audio quality on the version I found was so scratchy I had to squint with my ears.

By the end, you won't really care about the plot resolution anyway. It’s just a cozy, weirdly bright relic of Danish cinema that makes absolutely no sense but has a lot of charm. Or at least, a lot of shouting.