My Kingdom for a Hearse: Al Cooke and a very grumpy horse

You should probably watch this if you are the kind of person who finds old, grainy footage of men falling over genuinely funny. If you hate silent movies where the entire joke is 'man hits head on wood,' then you will absolutely hate this. 🎬

I found this one by accident while digging through a pile of digital archives. It stars Al Cooke, a guy who has this very specific way of looking confused that I find strangely relatable.

The whole thing is basically a series of disasters involving a hearse. It isn't deep and it definitely isn't trying to be 'art' with a capital A.

There is this one moment where Al tries to fix his hat while the horse is clearly trying to walk out of the frame. It feels like the director just gave up and kept filming anyway because they were running out of light.

I think the best part is when the 'mourners' show up for the scene. They look like they were recruited from a nearby alleyway about five minutes before the camera started rolling.

The film reminds me a bit of Hotsy-Totsy but with way more wooden props. Honestly, there are so many wooden planks in this movie you'd think they were sponsored by a lumber yard.

The editing is... well, it is very 1920s. Sometimes a person is standing on the left side of the screen, then boom, they are on the right holding a bucket of water.

You can tell they didn't have much of a budget. The hearse itself looks like it might turn into a pile of toothpicks if the wind blows too hard.

There is a scene with a ladder that goes on for about thirty seconds too long. But then Al makes this face—this squinty, annoyed little look—and I actually laughed out loud.

It is oddly similar to The Sawmill in how much it relies on people almost getting killed by heavy objects. Except here, the danger is mostly just falling into a hole in the ground.

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of My Kingdom for a Hearse (1928) through its definitive frames.

I like that the movie doesn't try to be a tragedy even though there is a hearse involved. Nobody in the film seems particularly sad about anything, which is a bit weird if you think about it too much.

The horse is the best actor in the entire production. It has this look of pure boredom that really speaks to me on a spiritual level.

If you have seen Puppy Love, you already know the general vibe. It is just chaotic energy without a lot of logic or a script to hold it back.

I noticed a big smudge on the camera lens during the outdoor shots near the end. It stays there for a long time and I kept trying to wipe my own monitor.

It’s the kind of thing you watch when you have fifteen minutes and want to turn your brain completely off. Don't go in expecting a masterpiece or a story that makes sense.

Is it a classic? No, not really. But it is a fun little time capsule of what made people giggle a hundred years ago. 🎩

Sometimes the silence in these old films feels heavy and awkward. But here, it just feels like the movie is waiting for you to catch the next gag.

I wish there was more of a plot, but maybe a plot would just get in the way of the horse being grumpy. The lack of a story makes it feel more like a weird dream you had after eating too much cheese.

Anyway, Al Cooke is great at what he does. His mustache alone deserves some kind of award for Best Supporting Facial Hair.

The ending is very abrupt, like they just ran out of film and decided to go home. It doesn't really resolve anything, but I guess that is just how life is sometimes.