Nevada Cyclone: A dusty, familiar mess

Should you watch Nevada Cyclone? Probably not. Unless you are one of those people who find comfort in the sound of horses hooves on hard dirt and dialogue that sounds like it was written on a napkin during lunch. If you dig low-budget black and white westerns, you'll be fine. If you want a plot that actually hangs together, you will hate every single minute.

The whole thing kicks off because Lafe, the villain with a face that just screams 'I do bad things,' wants Hammond's cattle. He corners a guy named Dick, who owes him money. It’s the classic setup. Dick breaks instantly. I mean, no resistance at all. He spills the beans about the cattle drive before the guy even finishes his sentence.

Ben gets suspicious, which is the only smart thing anyone does in this entire movie. Then Bud goes to rescue Dick, gets caught, then frees him, then they run away. It's a lot of back and forth. My head was spinning a bit, not because it's complex, but because it’s just the same chase scene happening over and over again.

There is this moment where the gang corners them, and they are totally outnumbered. You'd think there would be some clever strategy. Nope. Just a lot of hiding behind rocks. The rocks in these movies always seem to be made of cardboard, or at least they look like it in the harsh lighting. Starlight the Horse is probably the best actor in the bunch, honestly. He actually looks like he knows where he's going.

It’s not as lively as Pardners, which had a bit more charm to it. Here, everything feels a little tired. The pacing is weird, too. Sometimes the action just stops dead for a conversation that doesn't really explain anything. It felt like they were just trying to fill up the runtime before the next shootout.

I caught myself looking at the background extras. There's one guy who just stands there during the big standoff, like he’s waiting for a bus that’s never coming. It’s funny if you look for it. The whole film feels like it was put together with scraps.

Is it better than The Jazz Hounds? Hard to say. They are two different worlds, really. But at least the jazz movie had music to distract you from the thin story. Nevada Cyclone just has a lot of dust and men yelling at each other about cows.

Don't look for deep meaning here. It’s just people in hats riding horses. Sometimes that's enough, I guess. But tonight? It felt pretty hollow. Just a bunch of guys fulfilling a quota.