New Shoes: A bizarre, foot-focused musical distraction

Is it worth your time?

If you have a soft spot for 1930s musical variety acts and don’t mind a plot that feels like it was written on a napkin during lunch, sure, give it a go. But if you’re looking for something that actually makes sense? Stay away. My advice is to skip this unless you’re in a very specific mood for watching people sing about leather and laces. 👠

It’s not quite as charming as Helping Grandma, but it’s got that same dusty, black-and-white energy that makes you feel like you’re watching a broadcast from a different planet. The pacing is… well, it’s not really a thing here. It’s just a series of events tied together by the thinnest string imaginable.

The Footwear Logic

The whole premise is that these two fall in love because of their new shoes. I kept waiting for a reveal where the shoes were magic or something, but no. They’re just shoes. People just sing about them for an uncomfortable amount of time.

There’s this one moment where the camera lingers on a pair of loafers like they’re the crown jewels. It goes on for about 15 seconds too long. I actually checked to see if my Wi-Fi had frozen. Nope, just the director really, really loving the leather grain.

• The Andrews Sisters are there, which is the only reason to stay awake.
• The dialogue sounds like it was translated into a language I don't speak and then back into English.
• I’m pretty sure one of the extras in the background is just reading a newspaper the entire time.

It reminds me a bit of the aimless wandering found in Escapade, where people are just moving around set pieces looking for something to do. The movie tries to convince you that this romance is high-stakes, but honestly? It’s just people walking around in nice clothes looking confused.

The musical numbers are fine, I guess. But they don't really move the story anywhere. They just stop the movie for five minutes while everyone claps. It’s a strange, disjointed experience that feels more like a rehearsal for a show that never actually happened.

Don't look for deep meaning here. You’ll be looking for a long time. Just enjoy the weirdness of it all. Sometimes a movie is just a collection of shoes and songs, and that’s okay. I think?