North Pole, Ahoy! Is a strange, chilly mess

So, is it worth your time?

Look, if you’re into film history or just really love watching old-timey gear and people shivering in wool sweaters, you might dig this. If you need a plot that actually goes somewhere or characters you can remember by name, you’re going to hate it. It’s definitely not for everyone, mostly because it feels like a fever dream of a movie set.

The whole thing is basically a giant wink at those super-serious, sweaty mountain movies that were all the rage. You know, the ones where guys stand on peaks looking heroic while wind blows their hair. Here, they take that vibe and drag it into the Arctic, but the joke is that they’re just as incompetent as the people they’re trying to mock. It’s pretty meta, which is funny considering when it was made.

Wait, why is it so quiet?

There are these long stretches where nothing happens except for someone squinting into the distance. It’s painfully obvious they were trying to capture that "epic" scale, but it mostly just feels like a group of people standing in the snow waiting for the heater to turn on. The rhythm is all over the place. One minute it’s a slapstick bit with some bulky equipment, and the next it’s just... wind noises.

I caught myself staring at the costumes for way too long. The layers of clothing look heavy enough to sink a small ship. Why are they wearing that much stuff? I guess frostbite wasn’t an option, but watching them try to walk is like watching a penguin in a tuxedo trying to do an obstacle course.

It’s not as slick as Film Foolish, and it definitely lacks that polished, calculated vibe of later comedies. It feels raw, a bit desperate, and honestly, a little bit grumpy. It reminds me a bit of the frantic energy in Square Crooks, just, you know, with less jewelry and way more ice.

Small things that caught my eye:

• The way they handle the camera equipment makes me nervous. It looks like it’s held together by duct tape and prayers.
• There’s a bit where someone trips, and it’s clearly not scripted, but they left it in anyway.
• The extras in the background look like they’d rather be literally anywhere else on Earth.
• The lighting in the tent scenes is somehow both too dark and weirdly bright at the same time.

It’s not a masterpiece, and I doubt anyone in 1930s Germany was rushing to see this after a long day at work. But for a movie that nobody remembers, it’s got a weird, cold personality that sticks with you. It’s definitely not a Quo Vadis scale epic, and it’s all the better for it.

Sometimes you just want to watch a film crew fail in the middle of nowhere. It’s strangely relatable. ❄️