O Descobrimento do Brasil: A Very Stiff History Lesson

Is it worth your time?

Honestly, only if you have a serious itch for old-school cinema or you’re a history nut who doesn't mind a bit of theatrical posturing. If you want fast-paced action or complex character arcs, you’re going to be bored to tears within twenty minutes.

This movie is for the kind of person who enjoys staring at grainy, black-and-white waves and wondering what the heck the actors were thinking during the long, silent stares. Seriously, there are a lot of stares.

The vibe is... heavy

Watching this feels like flipping through a dusty textbook that’s been left in the sun too long. The sets have that unmistakable 'we built this in a warehouse' aesthetic that honestly has a weird charm to it. It reminded me a bit of the sparse, grounded feeling in The Vanishing American, where the environment is doing half the acting for everyone.

The dialogue is thick, formal, and sounds like it was ripped straight from a 16th-century diary entry. It’s not meant to be natural; it’s meant to be important. You can tell they really wanted to get the gravity of the event right, even if the result feels a little stiff in the joints.

Odd little notes

• The ships look like they might tip over if someone sneezes too hard.
• The lighting in the beach scenes is surprisingly harsh, which makes the whole thing feel strangely raw.
• There’s a specific shot of the cross being erected that goes on for, I swear, an eternity. It’s almost hypnotizing.
• I spent most of the runtime wondering how many crates of authentic-looking rope they had to buy.

It’s not a movie you ‘consume.’ It’s a movie you sit with, maybe while you’re doing something else. It lacks that zesty, modern polish, but there’s something admirable about how committed they were to the bit. It isn't trying to be like Isle of Fury or anything remotely close to an adventure flick. It’s just... there. Standing tall, being very serious about the Atlantic Ocean.

If you go in expecting a standard drama, you'll be frustrated. If you go in expecting a weird, historical time capsule, you might actually find something to latch onto. Or you’ll fall asleep. Either way, it's an experience. 🌊