Public Enemy's Wife: A Forgettable B-Movie Romp

If you have ninety minutes to kill and a strange fondness for grainy black-and-white crime dramas, Public Enemy's Wife might do the trick. It is not exactly high art, and if you are looking for a gritty masterpiece, you should probably look elsewhere. But if you just want to see Cesar Romero being dramatic and some old-school FBI hijinks, you will find something here to like. People who hate stuffy, slow-paced plots will probably find this one a bit too predictable for their taste.

The whole thing kicks off with a jailbreak that feels suspiciously easy. Our gangster lead decides his top priority isn't leaving the country, but hunting down his ex. It is a bit petty, honestly. I couldn't help but think how much effort he puts into a grudge when he could just be, I don't know, hiding?

The irony is laid on so thick it’s basically a layer of cake. The guy she marries is an FBI agent who is actively hunting the ex-husband. Watching them dance around the truth is fun for a bit, but it gets old. The tension feels a little forced, like the writers were terrified we wouldn't get the joke.

There is a scene in a diner that lasts way too long. The background extras are just standing there, looking like they were told to 'act natural' and promptly forgot how humans behave. It is distracting. I spent more time watching the guy in the back left corner pretend to read a newspaper than paying attention to the dialogue.

Cesar Romero is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. He has that classic 'tough guy' sneer that never really goes away, even when he’s supposed to be being charming. It works, though. He brings a weird, frantic energy to the screen that makes the duller parts of the script easier to swallow.

It’s funny how movies like this remind me of stuff like Good Dame, where the plot is just a thin wire holding up a bunch of personality-heavy performances. You don't watch for the logic. If you watch for the logic, you'll be miserable.

The pacing is a bit weird. It starts at a sprint, then hits a wall for about twenty minutes, then just sort of stumbles toward the finish line. One of the support actors has this habit of adjusting his tie every time he says a line. Once you see it, you can't unsee it. It became my favorite part of the second act.

Is it worth your time? Maybe. It's not nearly as interesting as High Speed, but it’s got a certain charm if you enjoy watching things break down in real-time. It feels like a movie made by people who were just trying to get the job done before dinner. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I left the screen feeling like I’d just had a cup of lukewarm coffee. Not bad, not great, just... there. It’s a perfectly average way to waste an afternoon.