Scouring the Seven Seas: A Wet, Chaotic Mess

Is it worth your time?

Look, if you have a weird obsession with storm footage or just want something to zone out to while folding laundry, Scouring the Seven Seas is a perfectly fine way to kill an hour. If you need a plot, actual characters, or anything resembling a human connection, you will probably hate this.

It’s basically an old-school disaster compilation without the cheesy narrator telling you how to feel. Just wind, wood splintering, and lots of grey water. 🌊

Some thoughts while watching

The pacing is honestly all over the place. One minute you’re watching a pier get pulverized, and then it just cuts to a calm harbor for way too long. It’s like the editor got bored and just let the tape run.

There’s a specific shot of a lighthouse being hit by a wave that honestly looks like a painting. I had to rewind it twice. It’s the kind of detail that makes you realize someone had to actually stand there and film this madness.

It feels a lot less polished than something like Shipwrecked Among Cannibals, which at least tries to have a bit of a story arc. This movie? It’s just chaos. Pure, wet, salty chaos.

• The sound of the waves is oddly hypnotic.
• Some of these camera angles are surprisingly good for the time.
• The footage of the structures washing away is actually kind of sad if you think about the people who built them.
• There is a brief bit that reminded me of the aerial shots in Panama and the Canal from an Aeroplane, though much less organized.

The verdict (sort of)

It’s not a masterpiece. It’s not even really a movie in the traditional sense. It’s more of a mood board for people who really, really dislike boats.

Don't look for meaning here. Just watch the water. It’s fine. Maybe even a little bit too fine if you watch it for more than twenty minutes. I found myself checking my phone halfway through, but then a huge boat got tipped over and I was back in it. 🤷‍♂️