Ulan Weddings: Old Polish charm or just a dusty relic?

Is it worth your time?

If you like old movies that feel like a stage play caught on film, sure. You’ll probably enjoy this if you have a soft spot for 1930s Polish aesthetics, snappy uniforms, and that specific, polite brand of romantic melodrama. If you need something with a fast pace or, you know, actual stakes, you’re going to hate it. It’s definitely not for everyone.

There’s this weird, airy feeling to the whole thing. It’s like the movie is terrified of being too heavy. Even when people are sad, they seem to be holding a teacup with their pinky out.

I found myself staring at the uniforms more than the plot. The tailoring is sharp, almost distracting. It’s all about the posture, really. Everyone stands like they’ve got a broomstick taped to their spine, which I guess is what being an ulan is all about.

Wait, what was that?

There is a musical number about three-quarters of the way through that just stops the movie cold. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just so aggressively cheerful. It feels like the director was trying to distract us from the fact that the plot hasn't moved in twenty minutes. I don't know, maybe I'm just cynical.

The dialogue has that stilted, literary quality that feels like they’re reading off a cue card held by a guy who’s annoyed to be there. But then, every once in a while, someone says something genuinely funny. Or maybe I just imagined it because the room was quiet.

It’s funny to compare this to something like City Streets. That one has grit and shadows; this is all high-contrast white light and heavy hairspray. It’s like a postcard from a world that didn't exist even when the film was made.

I caught myself looking at the background extras. There’s a guy in the back of the ballroom scene who is clearly bored out of his mind. He’s just nodding at a potted plant for like ten seconds straight. It’s the most real thing in the whole sequence. 😅

The ending? Well, it happens. It’s not really a conclusion so much as a polite suggestion that the movie is over. You get the sense that everyone just wanted to go to lunch.

Anyway. It’s a relic. A pretty, shiny, slightly hollow relic. Watch it if you want to see what people thought was 'proper' about eighty years ago. Just don’t expect to be changed by it.