The Honeymoon (1929) Review - A messy, sad, beautiful fragment

You should probably only watch this if you are already deep into silent era history. It is not a complete movie in the way we think of them now.

It is more like a ghost of a film. If you hate slow stories or black and white melodrama, you will probably want to turn it off after five minutes.

But for people who like seeing a director go way too far? This is gold.

Erich von Stroheim was always doing too much. He took the first half of his story and made a whole movie, then this was supposed to be the rest.

The plot picks up right where things got depressing. Nikki is married to Cecilia, who has a limp and a very sad face.

Zasu Pitts plays Cecilia. Her eyes are so big and watery it almost feels like she is looking through the camera at you.

The whole thing feels very heavy. There is this scene where Eberle is just fuming and wanting to kill the Prince.

It is the kind of jealousy that feels real, even if the acting is a bit big. Mitzi agrees to marry him just to save Nikki.

I felt bad for her. Fay Wray is in this, and she has this very soft, innocent vibe that makes all the gross stuff around her look worse.

When Mitzi faints at her own wedding, it is such a classic silent movie move. But then things get actually dark.

Eberle goes to the lodge to finish Nikki off. It is dark and the shadows are everywhere.

Cecilia jumps in front of the bullet. It is a total cliché, but Zasu Pitts makes it feel like a gut punch.

The way she survives at first just to suffer more is classic Stroheim. He really liked making his characters miserable.

The scene where she drags herself to the crucifix is hard to watch. It goes on for a long time.

She knows Nikki doesn't love her. She knows he wants Mitzi.

So she just... gives up. It is very religious and very bleak.

I noticed the set design here is incredible. Even in the grainy footage, the textures of the walls and the heavy wood look expensive.

It reminds me of the scale you see in The Last Days of Pompeii. People just don't build sets like that anymore.

After the wife dies, Nikki doesn't go find his true love right away. No, he goes to a brothel.

This is why Stroheim was always in trouble with the studios. He wanted to show the ugly parts of life.

The wine garden is closed, so he just hangs out with sex workers and drinks. It feels very lonely.

Then the war starts. The movie shifts gears so fast it almost gives you whiplash.

Suddenly Nikki is a soldier. He is out on the Serbian border hunting renegades.

It feels like a different movie for a second. Like one of those old adventure films, maybe something like The Flyin' Cowboy, but way more depressing.

Mitzi has joined a convent. Because of course she has.

The Sisters of the Bleeding Heart. Even the name is a bit much, right? 🥀

The bandits attack the convent. It is a bit chaotic and the editing is messy here.

Eberle shows up again. He is like a bad penny that just keeps coming back.

Nikki saves her just in time. They get married right there at the altar while everything is probably still smoldering.

The final line is what really stuck with me. Nikki yells something about the music as he rides away.

"Nobody can say - we didn't have a lot of music - such as it was." It is such a weird, sarcastic thing to say after all that death.

The movie is mostly lost now, so we only have pieces. It feels like looking at a broken vase.

You can see where it was beautiful, but the cracks are everywhere. Some of the cuts are very jarring.

If you liked The Marriage Market, you might find this interesting, but it is much darker. It doesn't have that light feeling at all.

It is a shame we don't have the whole thing. It is like Cleopatra where you just have to use your imagination for the missing parts.

I liked the small details. Like the way the uniforms look slightly too stiff.

Or the way the dust looks in the light during the outdoor scenes. It feels real.

Stroheim was a jerk to work with, probably. But he had a vision for how people actually hurt each other.

It is not a fun watch. It is a heavy watch.

But if you want to see Zasu Pitts absolutely crush your heart, give it a look. Just be ready for it to end abruptly.

It is a strange little piece of history. 🎞️