The Last Train from Madrid Review: A Goofy, Glossy 1930s Escape

If you’re looking for a deep, historical look at the Spanish Civil War, run away now. The Last Train from Madrid doesn't care about politics at all, even though it was made right while the actual war was happening. 🚂

Instead, it’s just a fast-paced, slightly goofy Hollywood melodrama about a bunch of people trying to grab a ticket out of town. It’s absolutely worth a watch on a lazy Sunday, especially if you like seeing future stars before they got huge.

But if you hate soapy love triangles and characters making incredibly dumb decisions for "love," you will probably turn this off after twenty minutes.

The movie basically plays out like a proto-Casablanca, but with way more screaming and fewer memorable lines. It’s got a young Anthony Quinn looking impossibly handsome and intense, basically carrying his scenes by sheer willpower.

Then you have Dorothy Lamour, who somehow looks like she just stepped out of a makeup salon even though bombs are literally falling around her. Her hair is perfect. It’s hilarious. 💅

There’s this one scene where two old friends—now on opposite sides of the conflict—meet up. You expect this big, tragic clash of ideals.

Instead, they mostly just argue about a girl they both dated. It’s so wonderfully petty.

The plot moves fast, mostly because the movie is barely over seventy minutes. It feels like the director was constantly checking his watch to make sure they didn't go over budget.

Some of the edits are so abrupt you might think your streaming player skipped a beat. One second a guy is getting arrested, the next he’s just... walking down the street? It's greatest trick is how it just ignores logic when it gets in the way of the drama.

I did love Lionel Atwill as the military commander. He has this incredibly stiff, menacing posture that makes him look like a cartoon villain who wandered onto the wrong set.

He gets this long, lingering close-up that goes on for about five seconds too long, where he just stares into the camera like he forgot his next line. I laughed out loud.

If you've seen other 1930s romances like Love Before Breakfast, you know how Paramount loved their glossy, quick-talking dramas. But trying to paste that exact same glossy style onto a real, ongoing tragedy is just bizarre.

It’s like making a lighthearted rom-com set in a bunker.

The extras in the crowd scenes look very confused. Half of them are running for their lives, and the other half look like they’re trying to find where the free lunch table is.

There is a kid in one scene who is supposed to be crying, but you can clearly see him smiling at the camera for a split second. Outstanding work, kid. 👶

In the end, it’s just a fun, messy B-movie. It doesn’t have a single deep thought in its head, and honestly, that’s why it’s so watchable.

Just don't expect a masterpiece. It's just a wild ride on a very shaky train.