Beethoven: The Original Tortured Artist?

Is it worth your time?

If you like your biopics to feel like a fever dream of velvet coats and unrequited love, you might find something to love here. But if you are looking for a deep dive into how he actually wrote the Ninth, you are going to be bored to tears. It is for the romantics, the ones who like their history a bit... dusty and dramatic.

Honestly, watching The Life and Loves of Beethoven feels a bit like reading a diary written by someone who has never actually met a human being. Everything is so intense all the time.

The vibe is just... heavy

Harry Baur plays the man himself, and he carries the whole thing like he is trying to hold up the ceiling with his eyebrows. There is so much sighing. So much staring into middle-distance windows while it rains outside. It’s a performance that doesn’t know the meaning of the word 'subtle' and honestly, I kind of respect that commitment.

There is this one scene where he is supposed to be having a breakdown over a lost love, and he just starts pacing around a room that looks way too big for a guy who is supposedly struggling. The camera stays on him for an eternity. I checked my watch twice. It wasn’t quite as awkward as the pacing in The Law and the Lady, but it gets close.

Wait, where is the music?

You’d think a movie about Beethoven would have more, well, Beethoven. But the score feels almost like an afterthought, tucked into the corners of scenes where people are crying about their feelings. It’s a bit like watching a movie about Attorney for the Defense that forgets to include any actual courtroom scenes. It’s bizarre.

• The wigs are absolutely massive.
• The lighting makes everyone look like they are perpetually haunting a mansion.
• I swear one of the extras in the background of the gala scene is just eating the same piece of cake for three minutes straight.

It’s a strange, disjointed experience. It’s not a masterpiece, and it’s definitely not a history lesson. It’s just an old, weird, passionate movie that seems to think 'genius' just means 'being mean to everyone you know.' Maybe they were right? I don't know. 🎻

I left the movie feeling like I needed to go for a long walk in the woods to shake off the gloom. Not bad, just... a lot.