The Mysterious Island (1929) is a weird, wet fever dream

So, should you actually sit through this? If you love seeing how people in the 1920s thought the future would look—basically lots of rivets and heavy metal boots—then yes.

But if you want a fast-paced action movie, stay far away. This thing moves like it's stuck in actual mud. 🐚

It’s loosely based on Jules Verne, but honestly, it feels more like the directors just wanted to play with their new toys. There is this submarine that looks like a giant, angry cigar.

Lionel Barrymore plays Count Dakkar. He has this very impressive beard that seems to do most of the acting for him in the first half.

He wants to build a utopia on a volcanic island. Everyone is supposed to be equal, which is nice, but mostly they just seem to spend a lot of time looking at blueprints and looking worried.

The movie gets way more interesting once they actually go underwater. That’s when the weirdness really starts. ⚓

The underwater scenes were filmed with this early Technicolor process. It’s all grainy and orange and teal, which makes it feel like you’re watching a moving painting that’s been left out in the rain.

I noticed one shot where a diver is walking on the sea floor and he looks like he's about to tip over at any second. Those suits must have weighed a ton.

Then there are the "sea people." They are these tiny little creatures that look like a mix between a duck and a lizard.

It’s clearly just people in suits, probably kids or very small adults, jumping around in front of a camera. It’s so goofy but I kind of loved it more than any modern CGI monster.

There is no soul in a digital dragon, but there is a lot of soul in a guy in a rubber fish suit trying not to drown.

The plot is a bit of a mess because they kept changing directors. You can tell where one person’s idea ends and another one begins because the tone just shifts for no reason.

One minute it’s a serious drama about class struggle, and the next minute a giant octopus is trying to hug a submarine to death. 🐙

It reminds me a bit of the stagey quality you see in Thais, where everything feels a bit too big for the screen.

Montagu Love plays the villain, Baron Falon. He’s great at looking mean. He spends most of the movie trying to steal the submarine secrets, which seems like a lot of work for a boat that barely moves.

There is a scene where they are testing the submariens and the water pressure starts cracking the glass. The actors look genuinely nervous, and I don't blame them.

I think the film is actually at its best when it stops trying to explain the science. The science is all fake anyway.

When they just let the camera linger on the weird plants and the bubbles, it’s actually quite peaceful. It has that same dreamlike quality as Rip Van Winkle.

It’s definitely not as whimsical as Alice's Balloon Race, but it has its own charm.

Some of the dialogue cards are a bit long. I found myself checking my phone a couple of times during the big speeches about "humanity's future."

We get it, Dakkar, you're a visionary. Just get back to the giant octopus, please.

The ending is pretty spectacular, though. Lots of explosions and lava.

The volcano finally does its thing, and everything goes to hell in a very satisfying way. It’s a lot of practical effects—miniatures and real fire—and it looks better than most stuff made ten years later.

I did find it funny how the "classless society" still basically had Dakkar in charge of everything. 🙄

He talks a big game about equality but he's definitely the boss. It’s that classic movie trope where the leader is "benevolent" just because he has a nice voice.

The music in the version I saw was a bit much. It never stopped. Sometimes silence is better when you're looking at a giant squid, you know?

If you're into film history, you have to see it just for the technical effort. They really tried to do something impossible here.

It’s clunky and the pacing is all over the place, but it’s bold. I’d rather watch a weird failure like this than a boring success any day.

Just don't expect it to make much sense. Just enjoy the fish-men and the rivets.