The Night Porter (1930) Review: Not the one with the Nazis

So, first things first. If you’re looking for that dark, messed-up movie with the same name from the 70s, you are in the completely wrong place. 🏨

This 1930 version is a goofy British comedy that’s mostly about a guy being very bad at his job. It’s short, it’s loud, and it’s honestly kind of exhausting in a fun way.

Is it worth watching today? Only if you really like old-school farce or if you’re a completionist for early British sound films. If you want something with a plot that actually makes sense for more than five minutes, you might want to skip it.

Tom Shale plays the porter, and he has this face that looks like it’s made of rubber. He spends about 80% of the movie looking wide-eyed and terrified at things that aren't actually happening.

The whole thing kicks off because of a suitcase. In these old movies, it’s always a suitcase mix-up, isn't it?

He sees these honeymooners, played by Gerald Rawlinson and Trilby Clark, and decides they must be high-stakes criminals. Why? Because they have a bag and they're acting "suspicious," which in this movie just means they want some privacy.

There is this one scene where Shale is trying to sneak into their room. He moves so slowly it’s actually painful to watch, but then he trips over a rug and the noise is deafening.

The sound quality in these 1930 flicks is always a bit hit or miss. Here, the footsteps sound like someone dropping heavy books on a wooden floor every time someone walks.

I found myself staring at the background extras more than the main cast sometimes. There’s a guy in the hotel lobby who just stands there holding a newspaper for about three scenes in a row without moving a muscle. 🗞️

It’s almost creepy. Like he’s a ghost that the director forgot to tell to leave the set.

The movie feels a bit like Call of the Cuckoo in its energy, but without the weirdness of the Laurel and Hardy cameos. It’s more grounded, which actually makes the slapstick feel a bit more jarring.

Anna Ludmilla is in this too, and she’s fine, I guess. She doesn't have much to do except look confused when the porter keeps showing up in her room at the worst times.

There’s a bit where Max (the porter) tries to hide under a bed. The bed looks so flimsy I was genuinely worried the whole set was going to collapse on top of him. 🛏️

The pacing is all over the place. It starts out really slow, setting up the hotel vibe, and then suddenly everyone is running in circles like they’re in a Benny Hill sketch.

I think the writers—and there are like five of them credited, which is crazy for a movie this simple—couldn't decide if this was a mystery or a straight comedy. It fails at being a mystery because we know exactly what’s in the bag from the start.

It’s a bit like watching Dodging Trouble where the stakes are low but the actors are sweating like they’re in a thriller. I kind of love that about these early talkies; they didn't know how to be subtle yet.

One thing that bugged me was the lighting. Some scenes are so bright you can barely see the actors' features, and then they turn a corner and it’s suddenly pitch black. 💡

It gives the hotel this really liminal, unsettling feeling that I don't think was intentional. It feels like they shot half of it in a real building and the other half in a basement with one lightbulb.

There is a specific shot of a jewelry box that lingers for way too long. It’s just sitting there on a table, and the camera stays on it for like ten seconds of pure silence. I thought my player had frozen.

Then a hand reaches in, and it’s meant to be a big reveal, but you’ve already guessed who it is five minutes ago. The "twist" at the end isn't really a twist; it's just the movie stopping because they ran out of film.

I watched The Ouija Board recently, and that had a similar problem with the ending feeling abrupt. It’s like they just decided, "Okay, that’s enough jokes, let’s go home."

Is it funny? Sometimes. There’s a physical gag involving a tray of drinks that actually made me chuckle, mostly because Tom Shale’s reaction is so over the top.

But a lot of the jokes are just... old. They rely on the idea that a man entering a woman's room by mistake is the height of hilarity. It’s a bit dated, obviously.

The costumes are surprisingly nice, though. Trilby Clark has some great hats. I spent a good five minutes just looking at her headgear instead of listening to the dialogue. 👒

If you’re into the history of British cinema, you might find it interesting to see how they handled the transition to sound. You can tell they’re still figuring out where to put the microphones because people keep leaning toward random flower vases when they talk.

It’s not a masterpiece like Redemption, but it’s not a total disaster either. It’s just a weird little relic from a time when movies were trying to find their voice—literally.

I wouldn't go out of my way to find a high-def copy of this. Actually, does a high-def copy even exist? Probably not. My version looked like it was filmed through a bowl of soup. 🥣

Anyway, it’s a quick watch. If you like seeing a guy get hit in the face with a door, give it a go. If not, maybe stick to something like Dangerous Curve Ahead for your vintage fix.

The Night Porter is basically the cinematic equivalent of a light snack that you forget eating ten minutes later. It’s fine while it’s happening, but don’t expect it to change your life or anything.

One last thing: the porter’s mustache is wild. It looks like it’s trying to escape his face in every other scene. 👨🏻‍💼