Thirty Seconds of Love: A weird little Italian romp

Should you watch Thirty Seconds of Love? If you have a soft spot for 1930s Italian cinema and don't mind a plot that feels like a stage play stuck inside a car, sure. If you get bored by people talking in rooms for ten minutes straight, stay far away.

The premise is delightfully stressful. A woman hits a guy with her car, and he doesn't want money. He wants this bizarre, drawn-out penance. It feels like the kind of setup that could either go really dark or really silly. This movie definitely picks silly.

Anna Magnani is in this, which is basically the only reason I clicked play. Even in these earlier roles, she has this way of looking at the camera like she knows exactly how ridiculous the script is. She holds the frame together whenever the lead guy starts rambling a bit too much.

There is a scene in the second act where they’re arguing about the 'punishment' and the blocking is just... strange. They keep walking in circles around a piece of furniture. It’s almost like they forgot where they were supposed to stand. I kind of loved it.

It’s nowhere near as polished as something like Help Yourself!, but it has that dusty, charming energy. You can tell the budget was basically just lunch money and a few nice suits.

The dialogue moves fast. Sometimes too fast. There were moments where I had to pause just to process why a character was suddenly so offended by a compliment. People in these movies are always so volatile, right? One minute they’re crying, the next they’re planning a dinner party.

• The hats are massive. Like, comically large.
• There’s a long stretch where nothing happens except people looking worried.
• The lighting is very 'stage spotlight' heavy.

Honestly, the ending is a bit of a shrug. It doesn't really resolve the tension so much as it just gives up and ends. But that’s fine. I didn't watch it for a life-changing conclusion. I watched it to see people being incredibly stubborn for an hour and a half. Mission accomplished. 🎩