Joan Crawford’s Paris Party Phase in This Modern Age (1931)

If you want to see Joan Crawford looking really worried while wearing very expensive pajamas, This Modern Age is basically made for you.

It is a 1931 movie that feels like it was written by someone who heard a rumor about how people party in Paris and decided to make a whole film about it. 🍸

Is it worth watching today? Honestly, yeah, but mostly if you like looking at old furniture and seeing Crawford’s huge eyes fill up with tears every ten minutes.

If you hate movies where the main conflict could be solved by one honest conversation, you will probably want to throw your remote at the screen.

Joan plays Valentine, a girl who hasn't seen her mom in years because of a messy divorce. She goes to Paris and finds her mom, Diane, played by Marjorie Rambeau, living in this gigantic apartment filled with people who do nothing but drink and make sarcastic comments.

Marjorie Rambeau is easily the best part of this whole thing. She has this tired, messy energy that feels way more real than anyone else in the cast.

She’s supposed to be the "bad influence," but you kind of just want to hang out with her and hear her stories about the guys she's dated.

Then Valentine meets Bob. Bob is played by Neil Hamilton and he is… well, he is a Harvard football star.

He is also incredibly boring. He spends most of his time looking shocked that people in Paris actually enjoy themselves.

There is a scene where they are out at a club and Bob looks like he’s at a funeral. I couldn't tell if the actor was bored or if the character was just that much of a wet blanket.

The movie gets really weird when Bob’s parents show up. They are the kind of people who probably think salt is too spicy.

They find out that Valentine’s mom is living with a guy she isn't married to. In 1931, this was apparently the worst thing a person could do.

The mom’s boyfriend, played by Armand Kaliz, has this tiny mustache that makes him look like a cartoon villain. He doesn't really do anything evil, he just hangs around and looks oily.

"You can’t marry into a family like this!" - Bob's dad, probably.

One thing I noticed is how loud the drinking is in this movie. Every time someone pours a drink, it sounds like a waterfall.

The sound recording back then was still a bit clunky, so every clink of a glass feels like a jump scare.

There’s a part where Crawford has to choose between her "scandalous" mom and her "respectable" boyfriend. It’s supposed to be high drama, but I just kept thinking that Bob was a total loser.

Crawford does this thing where she leans against doorways and looks out into the distance. She’s very good at it.

It reminds me a bit of the vibe in The Forbidden Path, where the world is just out to get a girl for no reason.

The movie doesn't really know if it wants to be a comedy or a heavy drama. Some scenes are really silly, and then suddenly someone is screaming about their reputation.

I feel like the writers, Mildred Cram and John Meehan, were trying to be edgy. But they were also scared of the censors, so everything feels a bit held back.

The ending is very rushed. It’s like they realized they only had five minutes of film left and had to fix everything immediately.

Suddenly, people are forgiving each other and everything is fine. It didn't feel earned at all.

Also, there is a very strange scene with a car crash that looks like it was filmed with toys. It’s accidentally the funniest part of the movie.

If you’ve seen What Every Woman Wants, you know how these domestic dramas usually go. This one is just a bit more French (or what Hollywood thought French was).

I liked the costumes, though. Crawford wears these hats that look like they might fall off if she sneezes too hard. 👒

Why it’s worth a look:

• Marjorie Rambeau’s performance is actually quite touching in a sad way.
• The Pre-Code era allowed for some dialogue that feels surprisingly modern.
• The sets are peak 1930s luxury.

It’s not a masterpiece, but it’s a decent way to spend eighty minutes if you like old cinema. Just don't expect it to change your life.

It’s just a movie about a girl realizing her mom is a person, and her boyfriend is a dork. We've all been there.