Why Those Three French Girls (1930) is a loud, messy fun time

If you are looking for something to put on while you fold laundry or maybe just to see how weird movies were in 1930, Those Three French Girls is a solid choice. It is one of those early talkies where everyone seems to think they have to scream their lines to be heard by the microphone. 📢

Is it worth watching today? Yeah, if you like old-school chaos. If you need things like 'logic' or 'consistent character growth,' you are going to absolutely hate this movie.

I decided to watch this because I saw P.G. Wodehouse was one of the writers. If you’ve ever read his books, you know he loves writing about posh idiots getting into trouble, and that is exactly what happens here.

The movie kicks off with two Americans and an Englishman (Reginald Denny) wandering around France. They end up in jail pretty fast because they can't communicate with the locals and things just... escalate.

Then we meet the girls. Fifi D’Orsay is the main attraction here, and she has this insane energy. She’s like a human sparkler that won't stop fizzing.

The sound quality is a bit like listening to a cat fight inside a tin can. It’s scratchy and loud, but it adds to the feeling that you’re watching something from a different planet. 🪐

I noticed that Reginald Denny looks perpetually confused. He has this blank stare that makes me think he was actually lost on the set and they just kept filming him.

There’s a scene where they’re all trying to sleep in the same room and it turns into a total disaster. The bed looks like it was made of actual rocks, and the way they move around each other is almost like a cartoon. 🪨

One reaction shot of a local villager lingers so long it actually becomes funny. You can almost feel the director behind the camera waiting for the actor to do something else, but he just... doesn't.

The dialogue is incredibly fast. People talk over each other constantly, which I guess is realistic for a group of people who are all annoyed at each other.

You can tell Wodehouse had a hand in the script because you get lines like 'right-o' and some clever wordplay about 'broken hearts' that actually landed. But then someone usually falls over a chair and the cleverness is gone.

The movie reminds me a bit of The Dutiful Dub in how it handles its lead characters, though this one is way noisier. It’s definitely more upbeat than something like The Soul of France, which is a relief.

Also, we have to talk about the hats. Why were hats so huge back then? One of the girls wears a hat that looks like a literal pancake is trying to escape her head. 🥞

I spent about ten minutes just staring at the hat instead of listening to what she was saying. It’s very distracting.

The plot is paper-thin. They go from a house to a jail to another house. It’s mostly an excuse for Fifi D'Orsay to say 'Ooh la la' and for the guys to act like they’ve never seen a woman before.

It’s a bit like The Hope Chest because it tries so hard to be charming that it occasionally succeeds by accident. But it’s also very messy.

There is a donkey in this movie. The donkey is honestly the best actor in the whole thing because it’s the only one not yelling. 🫏

The romance happens in about three seconds. One minute they are arguing, and the next they are basically engaged. Movies back then didn't have time for 'getting to know each other.'

I liked the part where they are in the car. You can tell the car isn't moving at all. The background is just a blurry sheet moving behind them, and it’s so obvious it’s actually kind of sweet.

It’s not a masterpiece, and it’s definitely not as polished as Nelson or even The Gate Crasher. It feels like a movie made by people who were just excited that they could finally record voices.

The ending is exactly what you expect. Everyone gets a happy ending and all the problems are solved because... well, because the movie is only 73 minutes long and they had to finish it.

Things that made me squint:

• The fake French accents that sound like someone doing a bad impression of a chef.
• The way everyone stands in a straight line when they talk, like they’re in a school play.
• The sound of the rain which is clearly just someone shaking a box of dried peas.
• The fact that no one seems to have a job or any real responsibilities.

If you're bored on a rainy afternoon, give it a watch. It’s light, it’s silly, and it’s over before you can get tired of the screaming.

It’s better than Life's Greatest Question, mostly because it doesn't try to teach you a lesson. It just wants you to laugh at some idiots in France.

Don't expect it to stay in your brain for more than an hour after the credits roll, though. It’s basically the movie version of a snack you eat when you aren't even hungry. 🤷‍♂️