Three on the Trail: Old School Westerns Still Have That Itch

Is it worth your time?

If you like your cowboys with ironed shirts and white hats that stay suspiciously clean, you’ll have a ball with Three on the Trail. It’s a Saturday afternoon kind of movie. Don't go in expecting some grim, dusty Me, Gangster level of grit. If you hate black-and-white morality or just find old-timey dialogue stiff, you’ll probably want to skip this one entirely.

William Boyd is just rock-solid as Hoppy. He doesn't need to do much besides look stern and shoot straight. That’s the whole point, right?

The Sheriff Problem

The whole plot hinges on the sheriff being a complete rat. It’s funny how they telegraph that about five minutes in. There is no mystery here. You’re just watching the clock tick until the inevitable showdown.

I found myself staring at the background extras more than the main guys. One guy in the saloon is just leaning against a post for like three straight minutes, looking like he’s waiting for a bus that’s never coming. Why is he there? Nobody knows.

Gabby Hayes is the glue

You can’t have a movie like this without someone like George 'Gabby' Hayes. He brings this frantic, sweaty energy that balances out Hoppy’s cool. It’s a bit of a contrast to the more serious tone you might find in something like The Juggernaut, but it works.

• The horses look like they’re having a better time than the actors.
• The stagecoach robbery is shot from the same three angles.
• I swear the same cloud is in the sky for the entire hour.

The action isn't going to win any awards for choreography. It’s mostly guys falling off horses into piles of dirt. But there’s a charm to it. It’s honest work, you know? It doesn't pretend to be more than a flick about guys chasing other guys across a map.

I think I liked it because it didn't ask anything of me. It’s just people riding around, getting into scrapes, and keeping the town from falling apart. Sometimes you don't need a complex The Pinch Hitter style story to have a good time.

Also, the music is just loud enough to be annoying but quiet enough to ignore. Classic stuff. 🤠