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Cult Review
Senior Film Conservator
Alright, so Twin Screws. Just the title alone makes you kinda chuckle, doesn't it? If you're the type who enjoys those really old, breezy comedies – the kind that feel like a quick skit stretched into a short film – then you might actually have a pretty good time with this one. It’s certainly not for anyone craving a deep plot or modern sensibilities. If you want something serious or even just coherent by today’s standards, you'll probably be bored stiff, or maybe even a little frustrated. But as a peek into a certain style of yesteryear's humor? It's a curiosity, and a rather pleasant one.
The whole thing kicks off with three sailors, fresh from sea, making this big, dramatic pact. They swear off women for their entire shore leave. 🙅♂️ No dames, no distractions. It's almost immediately clear this is a terrible, terrible idea. You know it, I know it, and the movie knows it. That's the gag, pure and simple.
Charley Rogers, he's one of them, kinda the more sensible-looking one, or at least he tries to be. Then there’s Leo White, who plays it big and blustery, as he often did. He’s the one you expect to break the vow first, probably with a loud, exasperated sigh. And sure enough, the moment they step off that gangplank, the trouble starts. Or, rather, the *temptation* starts.
There’s this one scene, pretty early on, where they’re walking down the street, trying so hard to ignore every lady they pass. Their eyes are darting around, trying to look anywhere but at the women. It’s a classic bit, but it works because of how *over-the-top* their commitment to avoidance is. One guy almost trips trying to avoid eye contact with a particularly fetching hat. It’s a small thing, but it got a little laugh out of me. 😂
What really makes these old shorts tick isn't the plot; it's the physical comedy. And Twin Screws has plenty of it. There are a lot of frantic chases, mistaken identities, and doors slamming. The pacing is quick, then suddenly it just… slows down. Like they ran out of gags for a moment and had to figure out what to do next. It gives it this kind of charming, unpolished feel.
Nina Quartero, as one of the women who inevitably crosses their path, is just delightful. She’s got this mischievous glint in her eye, clearly enjoying the sailors’ futile struggle. She doesn’t have a ton of lines, but her expressions do all the work. You can tell she’s having a blast messing with them.
One specific bit I remember: White’s character, at one point, ends up trying to hide from a woman *under a small table* in a restaurant. His legs are sticking out, his hat is crooked. It’s not subtle, but it’s so committed to the bit, you can’t help but smile. It’s a reminder that sometimes, simple gags are the most effective.
The film doesn't waste much time on character development. These are archetypes: the blusterer, the slightly nervous one, the one who just wants to have fun. And that’s fine. For a film of this era, and this length, it’s all about getting to the next funny situation. The whole 'no women' rule is just a flimsy excuse for a series of escalating shenanigans. You're not supposed to think too hard about the motivations.
It also made me think a little about The Adventures of Kitty Cobb, another oldie that relies on broad strokes and quick setups. There’s a shared DNA there, a kind of innocent silliness that just doesn’t exist in movies today. It's not about being clever; it's about being *fun*.
The climax, if you can call it that, involves everyone getting into a big, silly mix-up, naturally. Lots of running around, hats falling off, people bumping into each other. It’s exactly what you’d expect, and it delivers on that expectation. There’s no big moral or profound message here. Just some sailors, some women, and a lot of chasing.
So, should you watch it? If you have an hour to kill and a soft spot for film history, especially the kind that makes you feel like you're watching a stage farce, then yes, give Twin Screws a shot. It’s a charming, if slight, piece of forgotten cinema that reminds you that sometimes, a good laugh is all you need.
IMDb —
1922
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