You Can't Beat the Rap! is a total fever dream

Is it worth the time?

If you’re the type of person who digs through bargain bins at a record store, you’ll probably find something to enjoy here. It’s not for everyone—actually, it’s probably for almost nobody. If you demand coherent plots or actors who look like they’ve rehearsed more than once, steer clear.

It’s a scrappy, weird little film that feels like it was put together with glue and good intentions. Dwain Esper really had a singular vision, if you want to call it that. It’s almost charming in how hard it fails.

The Vibe

The whole thing feels like a lecture your grandpa gave you while he was half-asleep. There’s this constant need to warn you about the dangers of the street. It’s so heavy-handed it actually starts to feel funny.

The pacing is all over the place. One minute we’re in deep drama, the next we’re just watching people walk through doorways for what feels like an eternity. Why did they keep that take? I honestly don’t know.

It reminded me a bit of the frantic energy in The Two-Soul Woman, but with a lot more gravel in its voice. It’s not as polished as Moulin Rouge, obviously, but that’s the point, right?

Odd Little Moments

• There is a scene where a guy stares at a wall for ten seconds too long. I checked my phone thinking it had frozen. It hadn't.
• The lighting makes everyone look like they are perpetually standing in a dusty basement.
• The dialogue sounds like it was written on a napkin during a lunch break.

It’s not trying to be high art. It’s trying to get you to listen, even if it doesn't quite know what it's saying. I found myself laughing at parts that were meant to be tragic. That’s usually a bad sign for a director, but for an audience member? It’s a blast.

It doesn't have the same breezy feel as A Bit of Jade, that's for sure. It’s heavier, sweatier, and much more confused. Sometimes that’s exactly what I want on a Tuesday night.

Don't look for a lesson. Don't look for a moral. Just watch the mess unfold and wonder how on earth this got finished. It’s a weird, broken, beautiful little disaster. 🍿