Zwei Herzen im Dreiviertel-Takt Review: A Loud, Sweet, Messy Waltz

You should probably watch this if you have a soft spot for early sound movies that haven’t quite figured out where to put the microphone yet. It’s a bit of a mess, honestly. But a sweet one. 🍰

If you want something serious or 'important,' go watch something else. This is for people who like watching men in tuxedos get stressed about sheet music and stage curtains.

The main guy is Toni. He’s a composer who is supposedly a legendary lady-killer, though we mostly just see him looking tired and staring at his piano keys like they owe him money.

His friends, the Mahler brothers, are trying to finish a new operetta with him. They have a sister named Hedi. They treat her like she is made of thin glass. They do not want Toni anywhere near her.

It is one of those plots where everything would be solved in five minutes if people just talked like normal humans. But then we wouldn't have a movie, I guess.

One night, Hedi just shows up at Toni's place. It’s late. Like, 'why are you awake and wandering into a stranger's house' late. She doesn't say who she is. She just helps him find this waltz melody. 🎹

It is the big hit. The 'three-quarter time' thing from the title. And then she leaves. Toni wakes up and—poof—the tune is gone from his head. He’s basically a human goldfish in a tuxedo.

The way the camera moves in this thing is... clunky. It feels like it is being pushed on a heavy shopping cart. But that is 1930 for you. Everything is loud. People don’t talk; they announce things to the back of the room.

It reminds me a bit of A Wonderful Night, but with more frantic energy and people running in and out of doors. It’s a bit exhausting if you aren't in the right mood.

S.Z. Sakall is in this! This was way before he became 'Cuddles' in the Hollywood movies like Casablanca. He still has that face, though. You just want to pinch his cheeks while he complains about things.

He’s the best part of the movie, even when he is just standing in the background looking confused by the plot. He has this way of making the most boring lines feel like a little joke between him and the audience.

The middle part of the movie really drags. They spend so much time talking about the melody they lost. I kept thinking, 'Just hum it! Try harder!' But no, we have to have more misunderstandings.

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of Zwei Herzen im Dreiviertel-Takt (1930) through its definitive frames.

It’s like a sitcom but with better hats and more violins. 🎻

I noticed one scene where a guy is holding a glass of wine. He doesn't drink it. He just waves it around for three minutes while he talks. I kept waiting for him to spill it on the rug. The rug looked expensive.

The movie is definitely better than something like The Girl He Didn't Buy in terms of just being fun. At least the music is good. Robert Stolz knew how to write a hook that sticks in your brain like glue.

Even if they play that same waltz until your ears start to ring. It’s a very '1930s' problem to have.

Is it worth the time?

I don't know if I'd call it a masterpiece. It’s too jittery for that. But it’s a fun way to spend 90 minutes if you like old German stuff. It is certainly better than Yearning for Love, which was way too moody for my taste.

There is a weird charm to how low-tech it feels. You can almost hear the director shouting 'Action!' off-camera during the quiet parts. Or maybe that was just the hiss on the soundtrack. Hard to tell.

One reaction shot of the brothers staring at Toni lingers so long it actually becomes funny. They look like they’ve seen a ghost, but they’re just worried about a song.

The ending comes out of nowhere. It’s very fast. Like they realized they were running out of film and needed to wrap everything up in two minutes. 🎬

• The piano looks like it hasn't been tuned in years.
• Why do the brothers have matching names? Vicki and Nicki? It’s weird.
• Hedi’s hat in the second act is a huge choice. A very big choice. 👒
• Toni’s mustache looks like it might fall off if he hits a high note.

If you like The City of Beautiful Nonsense, you might find this a bit too loud. It’s not subtle. At all. It’s a movie that really wants you to know it’s a musical.

But hey, it’s a nice little time capsule. Just don't expect it to change your life. It’s just a waltz. A very, very long waltz.