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5.8/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 5.8/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Alias French Gertie remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you have an hour to kill and want to see what a heist movie looked like before the world got too complicated, Alias French Gertie is a decent way to spend it. It’s definitely for people who love that specific 1930s vibe where everyone talks like they’re in a hurry to get to a cocktail party.
You probably won’t like this if you need fast-paced action or high-tech gadgets. This is very much a movie where the most high-tech thing is a safe hidden behind a painting. 🕵️♀️
Bebe Daniels plays Gertie, and honestly, she is the only reason this whole thing works. She spends half the movie doing this outrageous fake French accent that wouldn’t fool a toddler, but somehow the rich people in the movie just eat it up.
It’s funny how in these early talkies, the camera just sort of sits there like an awkward guest at a dinner party. You can tell they were still figuring out how to move the equipment without it making a ton of noise. It gives the whole film a stagey, slightly claustrophobic feel that I actually kind of liked.
The plot is simple enough: Gertie gets a job as a maid to scope out the jewelry. Her boyfriend, played by Ben Lyon, is the one who’s supposed to help her pull off the actual theft.
They were married in real life, and you can totally tell. There is this one scene where they’re whispering to each other in a corner, and the way they look at each other feels way too real for a movie about jewel thieves.
It’s a bit like Beating the Game in the way it handles the 'honor among thieves' trope, but with more lace and fancy hats. 👒
I was expecting a big, elaborate plan, but it’s mostly just Gertie being charming and looking at things she shouldn't. The tension comes from whether or not someone is going to walk into the room while she has her hands in a jewelry box.
There is a specific moment where she’s holding a string of pearls and the lighting hits them just right. It’s one of those rare moments where the black-and-white film actually looks expensive.
The dialogue is snappy, though. It has that Pre-Code grit where people say things they wouldn't be allowed to say just five years later. It’s not as dark as something like The Hard Guy, but it has its moments of cynicism.
I did notice that the sound quality dips whenever someone moves too far away from the center of the room. It’s like they had one microphone hidden in a flower vase and everyone had to huddle around it to be heard. 🎤
One of the rich ladies in the house has this stare that could melt lead. Every time she looks at Gertie, I thought for sure the gig was up, but then Gertie just says something in her fake French and the lady relaxes.
It’s a very light movie. Even when things go wrong, it never feels like anyone is in actual mortal danger. It’s more about the game of it all.
If you've seen The Girl He Didn't Buy, you know the kind of breezy energy I’m talking about. It doesn't want to change your life; it just wants to show you some pretty people doing bad things.
I kept wondering why more movies don't use the 'fake accent' trope anymore. It’s so silly, but Bebe Daniels makes it feel like a superpower. She can turn it on and off so fast it’ll give you whiplash.
There’s a scene where she’s talking to a cop and she almost slips up. You can see her eyes go wide for a split second. It’s a great piece of acting that probably went unnoticed by people just looking for a thrill.
The sets are surprisingly detailed for a movie that feels this small. The house feels lived-in, even if it is clearly a studio backlot. You can see the dust on the books in the background.
It reminds me a bit of Brothers in how it tries to balance the crime stuff with a bit of heart. Though here, the heart is mostly just the chemistry between the two leads.
Is it a masterpiece? No. Is it better than most of the junk we get nowadays? Probably. It has a soul, even if that soul is a bit crooked.
The way the movie handles the 'reformation' of the characters is pretty typical for the era. It’s that weird moral middle ground where they want you to root for the crooks but also want to make sure the audience knows stealing is wrong. Sort of.
I think my favorite part was just watching the way people moved back then. There’s a specific kind of posture everyone had. Very upright, very deliberate. Except for Gertie when she’s 'in character'—then she’s all shrugs and hand gestures. 👐
It’s a short watch, which is a blessing. It doesn’t overstay its welcome or try to be more than it is. It’s just a story about a girl, a guy, and a bunch of shiny rocks.
If you’re diving into early sound cinema, this is a good 'palette cleanser' between the heavy dramas. It’s fun. It’s flawed. It’s very human.
IMDb —
1916
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