Asphalt (1929) is surprisingly sexy for a silent movie

If you have an evening to kill and want to see what Berlin looked like before everything went to hell, you should probably watch Asphalt.

It’s perfect for people who like moody lighting and stories about good people making really, really dumb choices because they met someone hot.

If you hate silent movies or get annoyed by characters who stare at each other for a long time without talking, you will probably be bored out of your mind.

The movie starts with these shots of people actually laying down asphalt on a street. It sounds boring, but the rhythm of it is almost hypnotic.

You can see the steam and the sweat, and it feels like you are standing right there in the heat. Joe May, the director, really wanted us to feel the city breathing.

Then we meet Holk. He is a traffic cop who looks like he’s never had a bad thought in his life.

He’s standing in the middle of this chaotic intersection, waving his arms like he's conducting an orchestra. It's kind of funny how serious he takes it.

Then Elsa shows up. She’s a jewel thief, but she doesn't look like one—she looks like a movie star who got lost.

She tries to steal a diamond, gets caught, and then starts doing this fake crying thing that is so obvious, yet Holk just falls for it immediately.

Men are so predictable, even in 1929. Betty Amann plays Elsa and her eyes are just massive.

There is a scene in her apartment that feels incredibly modern. The way the camera moves around the furniture makes the room feel small and crowded with tension.

It’s not like those stiff old movies where the camera just sits there. This thing glides.

I noticed a small detail where she’s trying to seduce him and she puts her hand on his glove. The contrast of the dark leather and her pale skin is just... wow.

The movie doesn't need words there. You just know he is completely finished.

Holk’s parents are in the movie too, and they are so sweet it actually hurts. His mom makes him dinner and waits for him, and you just know he’s going to break her heart.

It reminded me a bit of the vibe in The Young Lady and the Hooligan, where you have that clash between a rough world and someone trying to be good.

The middle part of the film slows down a lot. Maybe a little too much.

They spend a long time just looking at each other in the dark. I think I checked my phone once during a particularly long close-up of a lamp.

But when the “boyfriend” shows up—the real criminal—the energy picks back up. Hans Albers plays him and he has this scary energy that makes the cop look like a child.

There is a fight in a small room that is messy and awkward. It’s not a choreographed Hollywood fight; it looks like two guys who don't know how to hit each other properly just flailing around.

The way a table breaks feels loud even though there is no sound. The shadows on the wall during the struggle are huge and distorted.

It’s much more intense than something like Detective Craig's Coup which feels a bit more like a stage play.

I did find it a bit weird how fast the ending wraps up. It’s like they realized they only had five minutes of film left and had to finish the plot.

The very last shot of the street again is a nice touch though. The city doesn't care about your drama; it just keeps moving.

The print I watched was a bit grainy, but it added to the grit of the whole thing. It’s a very “dirty” looking movie in the best way possible.

If you’re into the history of how movies became cool, this is a big one. It’s basically the grandparent of every film noir ever made.

I’m still thinking about that diamond scene. The way the jeweler looks through his little magnifying glass... you can almost feel the greed in the room. 💎

Anyway, it's worth a look if you can find a good version. Just don't expect a happy, bubbly time.