Bargain Day (1931) Review: Stymie is a Legend

Is Bargain Day worth your time today? If you like watching tiny kids act like stressed-out adults, then yes. It is a quick watch that will probably make you smile if you don't take it too seriously. People who hate old, grainy footage or the 'canned' feel of 1930s shorts should probably skip it. But for everyone else, it’s a pretty good time.

The whole thing starts with Wheezer and Stymie trying to sell 'bargains' to people. Their suitcase is mostly full of stuff that belongs in a trash can. Stymie has this oversized hat that looks like it’s trying to eat his head. He is easily the best part of the whole movie. Seriously.

There is a scene where they try to sell a 'sample' to a lady at a door. It is just a piece of wood or something equally useless. The lady’s reaction is so stiff it feels like she’s reading her lines off a wall behind the kids. I love how awkward early sound movies feel sometimes. It’s like everyone is afraid to move too fast or the microphone will explode.

The movie gets a lot better once they end up in the department store. It is one of those giant, old-school stores with fancy counters and a floorwalker who looks like he hates his life. Stymie starts talking to a clerk about socks, and it is genuinely funny. He’s so confident for someone who is about three feet tall. Stymie’s timing is better than most modern actors.

I noticed a weird thing in the background during the store scene. There are people just standing there staring at the camera. It makes the store feel like a haunted house instead of a shopping center. Also, the audio gets real fuzzy whenever someone yells. It’s that 1931 charm, I guess.

Then there is the rich girl, Shirley Jean. She’s lonely because her dad is always working or something. It’s a classic trope. She wants to buy the kids' 'bargains' just to have someone to play with. It’s a bit sad if you think about it too long, but the movie moves too fast for that. Don't think about it too long.

Jackie Cooper shows up too. He’s older here and feels like he’s in a different movie. He has this intense energy that doesn't quite match the silly vibe of Wheezer and Stymie. It’s like he already knew he was going to be a big star and was practicing his 'serious actor' face. You can see more of that era's vibe in Bad Sister, which came out the same year.

The pacing is a bit weird. It feels like three different short ideas mashed together. One minute they are at a house, then a store, then back at a house. It doesn't really matter, though. The logic of these shorts is usually 'put kids in a place and see what they break.'

There is a monkey at one point. Why? Dunno. It just shows up. Every 1930s comedy needed a monkey by law, apparently. The monkey interacts with a dog, and the dog looks deeply confused by the whole situation. I felt for that dog.

I liked this more than Ocean Swells, mostly because the dialogue feels more natural. Well, as natural as it can be when a kid is reciting jokes written by a 40-year-old man. The 'bargain' gag keeps coming back, and it gets funnier each time because the items get worse. By the end, they are basically trying to sell air.

The ending is kind of abrupt. It just... stops. No big lesson, no big finale. Just the kids being kids and then the screen fades out. I wish more movies did that today. Just stop when the jokes run out.

Things I noticed while watching:

• Stymie’s hat is definitely three sizes too big and I want one.
• The floorwalker’s mustache is suspiciously perfect.
• There is a lot of blinking. Like, everyone is blinking way too much. Maybe the lights were too bright?
• The 'junk' in the suitcase actually looks like stuff I’d find at a modern thrift store for $20.
• The way the kids walk is just hilarious. They have this little waddle.

If you’re looking for a 'profound exploration' of anything, go somewhere else. This is just a few kids being pests in a way that’s cute because it happened 90 years ago. If my neighbors' kids did this today, I’d probably call the cops. But on screen, it’s gold.

It’s a solid little film. Not the best Our Gang short, but definitely not the worst. It’s got a lot of heart, even if the script is basically just a list of things for the kids to trip over. Go watch it if you need a break from reality.