Why Children of Chance (1930) is a weird, clunky trip worth taking

Is it worth your time?

If you like old British movies where everyone sounds like they have a hot potato in their mouth, then yes. It is a fun curiosity for a Sunday afternoon.

Most people will probably find it too slow or the plot too silly. If you hate movies where people don't just talk to each other to solve a problem, you will definitely hate this one.

The whole thing starts with this girl Beryl who is basically broke. She is played by Elissa Landi, who also plays the famous actress Lia Monta.

It is one of those classic lookalike plots that movies loved back then. It reminds me a bit of the identity games in Filibus, but way less cool and without a giant airship.

There is this scene early on where Beryl is looking at a shop window. The lighting is actually pretty decent for 1930, making her look very sad and hungry.

Then she gets mistaken for the star. It happens so fast you kind of wonder if the people in this movie have face blindness. 🤨

The sound is... well, it is an early talkie. You can hear the hiss of the equipment in the background of every quiet scene.

Sometimes a character will walk away from the microphone and their voice just vanishes into the floorboards. It makes the dialogue feel like a secret you aren't supposed to hear.

John Stuart shows up and he is fine, I guess. He mostly just stands there looking stiff and handsome while things happen around him.

I found myself watching the background extras more than the leads. In the party scene, there is a guy in the back who looks like he is trying to remember if he left his oven on.

The plot involves a stolen necklace, because of course it does. It feels like every movie from this era had to have a diamond heist or a secret letter.

There is a lot of running around in hallways. The hotel sets look like they were made of thin cardboard that might fall over if someone sneezed too hard.

Mabel Poulton is in this too. She has this very nervous energy that kept me awake when the pacing started to drag.

The movie is much slower than something like Speeding Through. It feels like it wants to be a stage play but forgot to let the audience breathe.

I noticed one shot where a character holds a telephone for like ten seconds after they finished talking. They just stare at the wall. It was probably meant to be dramatic but it just felt like the director forgot to yell cut.

The writing is a bit clunky. You can tell Frank Launder was still figuring out how to make people sound like real humans instead of cardboard cutouts.

I did like the hats, though. The 1930s fashion in this is top tier even if the story is a bit wobbly. 🎩

One weird thing—the music just stops and starts at random times. It is very jarring.

It is not as weird as Uncle Tom's Uncle, but it has its own brand of awkwardness. You can tell they were still scared of the cameras and the microphones.

Beryl's transformation into the actress isn't even that convincing. She just puts on a slightly nicer dress and suddenly her own friends don't know her.

It makes you realize how much we rely on context to recognize people. Or maybe people in 1930 were just really easy to prank.

There is a bit of a chase near the end that is actually kind of exciting. But then it ends very abruptly, like they ran out of film or money.

I think I liked it more than The Primrose Ring, but that is not saying much. It is a messy little film but it has a heart if you look closely enough.

Don't expect a masterpiece. Expect a shaky, loud, and slightly confusing relic of a time when movies were learning how to talk.

• The pearls look like white grapes.
• Elissa Landi has very expressive eyebrows.
• The villain is about as threatening as a wet napkin.
• I'm pretty sure I saw a shadow of a boom mic at the 40-minute mark.

Anyway, give it a look if you find a copy. Just don't expect it to change your life or anything. It's just a movie about a girl and some shiny rocks.