La Brigade en jupons Review: Badges, Skirts, and 1930s Chaos

If you're the type of person who likes digging through old French cinema just to see how people used to dress and talk, you’ll probably find La Brigade en jupons worth a watch. It’s one of those movies that feels like it was made during a very long, very wine-heavy lunch break. If you want a serious drama about the history of women in law enforcement, you’re going to absolutely hate this. It’s much more of a lighthearted mess than a history lesson.

The whole setup is basically: 'What if girls had badges?' and then everyone in the movie spends the first twenty minutes acting like the world is ending. It stars Paulette Dubost and Jeanne Helbling as the pioneers. Honestly, Paulette has this way of looking at the camera that makes me think she knew exactly how ridiculous the script was. She’s easily the best part of the whole thing.

There is this one guy, Raymond Cordy, who plays a fellow officer. He has this incredibly confused face that he makes in every single scene. It’s like he’s constantly trying to remember if he left the stove on at home. I found myself watching him more than the actual plot sometimes.

The Vice and the Chaos

The ladies are supposed to be monitoring 'vice' and 'child welfare.' This basically means they walk around and look at people very suspiciously. It’s a bit slow at first, almost like the movie doesn't know what it wants to be. Then, suddenly, there’s a drug trafficking ring. It feels like the writers realized halfway through that they needed some actual action, so they just threw in some criminals. 🕵️‍♀️

The transition is pretty jarring. One minute they’re talking about kids, and the next they’re chasing down smugglers. It’s not smooth at all. It reminded me a bit of the weird pacing in Virtuous Husbands, where the tone just kind of hops around whenever it feels like it.

I noticed the sound quality is pretty rough in the outdoor scenes. There’s one bit where they are standing near a fountain, and the water is so loud you can barely hear the dialogue. It’s 1938, so I guess I should cut them some slack, but it’s still funny to hear. You can almost feel the sound guy struggling with the equipment.

The bad guys are the most obvious bad guys I’ve ever seen. They all wear these dark coats and squint their eyes like they’re trying to read a very small menu. There’s no subtlety here. They might as well be wearing signs that say 'I SELL ILLEGAL STUFF.'

Small Things I Noticed

• Paulette Dubost’s hat is a character of its own. It’s tilted at an angle that defies gravity.
• The way the men in the movie walk is so stiff. It’s like they’re all wearing corsets under their suits.
• There’s a scene in a café where a guy is reading a newspaper, and he doesn't turn the page for like five minutes. He’s just staring at the same three paragraphs.
• The 'action' scenes are mostly people running in and out of doors. It feels very theatrical, like a stage play that accidentally got filmed.

The romance subplots feel so rushed. They barely meet these guys and suddenly they're in love. I guess that’s just how movies worked back then, but it’s still hilarious. One of the officers, I think it was Vidalin, has this mustache that looks like it was glued on five seconds before the director yelled 'Action!'

There’s a weirdly long sequence where they’re just walking through the streets. No talking, just walking. I think it was supposed to show the atmosphere of the city, but it goes on for about thirty seconds too long. I started checking my phone during that part. It’s not quite as energetic as The World Gone Mad, but it tries its best.

I will say, the ending is actually quite satisfying. They get the bad guys, they get the guys they like, and everything is wrapped up in a neat little bow. It’s very comfy. It doesn't challenge you, and it doesn't try to be deep. It’s just a movie about ladies with guns and nice hats.

Is it a 'cinematic masterpiece'? No. It’s a bit clunky and the editing is weird. There’s a cut during the big bust where a character literally teleports from one side of the room to the other. I had to re-watch it because I thought I missed a door opening. Nope, just a bad cut. 🤡

But honestly, that’s why I liked it. It feels real. It feels like a group of people in the 30s trying to make something fun. It doesn't have that polished, fake feel that modern movies have. It’s slightly broken, and that’s okay.

If you have 90 minutes and you want to see some old-school French charm, give it a shot. Just don't expect it to make sense the whole time. Also, keep an eye on that fountain scene—I swear the water is the loudest actor in the movie. Anyway, it’s better than sitting through another generic superhero movie, I guess.