Madame ne veut pas d'enfants: A bit dusty, but charming

Is it worth your time?

Honestly, only if you have a soft spot for black-and-white curiosities. If you’re looking for a tight, modern comedy, keep walking. But if you like watching people in fancy clothes have very petty arguments while sitting in stiff chairs, you might find something to love here. It’s definitely not for the kind of person who needs a fast pace.

The whole premise is basically one long, drawn-out debate about family planning. Madame really, truly does not want a kid. Everyone else, including the husband, is basically clutching their pearls about it. It’s a very 1930s take on a domestic problem.

I found myself staring at the background furniture more than the actors sometimes. Some of those vases look like they were pulled straight from a museum basement. The framing is so static it makes you want to reach into the screen and push the camera a few inches to the left. Just to see what else is in the room.

There is a scene near the middle—I think it’s a dinner scene—where the dialogue just loops. Someone says something about duty, the other person scoffs, and then someone drops a fork. It felt like they kept the take because they were running out of film. It’s charming in a weird, sloppy way.

It’s funny how different this feels compared to The Part Time Wife. That one had a bit more snap to the dialogue. Here, everyone talks like they are reciting poetry at a funeral. It’s not necessarily bad, just very, very slow.

Maybe it’s just me, but the way the lead actress looks at the camera when she’s annoyed is the highlight of the movie. She has this look that says, "I would rather be anywhere else," which is probably exactly how she felt during the shoot. 🎥

I don't think this movie was meant to change the world. It’s just a little bit of fluff that survived for way too long. It’s not going to win any awards for pacing, but it has a weird, quiet soul that you don't get in movies today. You can almost smell the old curtains.

• The lighting is surprisingly moody for a comedy.
• Nobody actually seems to enjoy being a parent in this, which is a funny subtext.
• I’m pretty sure one of the extras is falling asleep in the back left corner.

It’s not perfect. It’s barely even polished. But hey, it beats watching another CGI explosion fest. Take it for what it is. Or don't.