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Cult Review
Senior Film Conservator
If you are looking for something to put on while you fold laundry, Married in Hollywood might work, but only if you like looking up every five minutes and wondering why everyone is shouting. It is definitely for the people who love the history of early sound films and don't mind a lot of static.
I think most people today would find it pretty boring, honestly. It’s very slow and the plot feels like it was written on a napkin during a lunch break.
The story follows Prince Nicholai, who is the heir to a Balkan throne. He meets an American singer named Mary and suddenly he’s ready to throw away his whole kingdom for her. 👑
It’s that classic "rich guy meets talented girl" trope that we have seen a thousand times. J. Harold Murray plays the prince and he has this extremely stiff posture the whole time.
He looks like he’s afraid if he moves his neck too fast, the whole set will fall down. Maybe it would have. 🏗️
The singing is... well, it's very much of its time. Mary (played by Norma Terris) has a voice that probably sounded great in a theater in 1929 but on a modern speaker it sounds a bit like a ghost trapped in a tin can.
There is this one scene where they are in a garden and the bird sounds in the background are so loud they almost drown out the dialogue. It made me laugh because it felt like the birds were trying to win an Oscar. 🐦
I kept waiting for them to actually get to Hollywood. The movie is called Married in Hollywood but for the first hour, you are stuck in Europe with a bunch of people in capes.
It’s a bit like watching Zongar if that movie had more operetta and less... whatever Zongar was trying to be. Actually, it's more like a less intense version of The Road to Ruin, but with way more singing and fewer life lessons.
There is a funny bit where a character reacts to a joke and the camera stays on them for about four seconds too long. You can almost hear the director off-screen yelling "Keep smiling!" until they finally cut away.
The movie gets slightly better when they finally make it to the States. But by then, I was mostly thinking about what I wanted for dinner. 🍕
I noticed that the extras in the background of the party scenes look very confused. Half of them are just staring at the camera like they’ve never seen one before.
One guy in the back is holding a glass of water and he doesn't take a sip for three whole minutes. He just holds it. It’s fascinating in a weird way.
The transition between the musical numbers and the talking is always a bit clunky. The actors sort of freeze in place when the music starts, like they are playing a game of musical statues. 💃
It reminds me of the pacing in Alias Jimmy Valentine where you can feel the technology struggling to keep up with the story. 1929 was a rough year for making movies feel natural.
I did like the costumes, though. The Prince’s military uniform has so many medals on it I’m surprised he didn’t tip over forward. It’s very shiny. ✨
There is a scene near the end where things get supposedly emotional, but the music is so jaunty it feels like a circus is about to start. It’s a complete mismatch of mood.
I think the writers, Leopold Jacobson and the others, were trying to make something grand. Instead, they made something that feels like a very expensive home movie.
If you’ve seen The Poor Rich Cleaners, you know how these old short-form concepts can sometimes feel stretched out. This movie feels stretched like old elastic.
Is it a masterpiece? No. Is it the worst thing ever? Not really.
It’s just there. It exists as this weird bridge between silent films and the big musicals of the 30s.
I wouldn't go out of my way to find it unless you are a completionist. Or if you really like Balkan history told by people who have clearly never been to the Balkans. 🌍
The ending is very abrupt. Like, they just decided they ran out of film and stopped.
I honestly forgot the names of half the characters by the time the credits rolled. But I’ll always remember that guy holding the glass of water. 💧
Anyway, it’s a decent enough watch if you’re into relics. Just don't expect it to change your life.
IMDb 6.3
1923
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