Mickey's Musketeers is basically a 1930s home movie with a budget

Should you watch this today? Only if you’re a Mickey Rooney completionist or if you really miss the vibe of those old 'Our Gang' shorts where kids just run around causing problems.

Most people will probably find it too loud and chaotic, but if you like seeing how movies used to handle child actors before everything got so polished, it’s worth twenty minutes of your life.

This is part of the Mickey McGuire series, and honestly, the kids are way more intense than I expected. They aren't just playing; they are commited to the bit of being musketeers in a way that feels slightly dangerous for their shins.

Mickey Rooney has this energy even at this age where he’s clearly the boss of everyone on screen. It’s almost exhausting to watch him move because he never stays still for more than a second. 🏃‍♂️

The costumes are the best part. You can tell the prop department just grabbed some old felt and cardboard and told the kids to make it work.

One kid has a hat that is so big it keeps dipping over his eyes during the 'sword fights.' He just keeps pushing it up without breaking character, which is more professional than most adults I know.

The Billy Barty Factor

Billy Barty is in this too, and he’s tiny. Like, really tiny.

He gets stuck with some of the more slapstick moments, but he has this face that just works for comedy. He doesn't even have to do much; he just looks at the camera and you feel for him.

There is a scene where they are trying to cross a 'moat' (it’s just a muddy ditch) and the physics of the whole thing seem very questionable. I’m pretty sure one of the kids actually slipped and they just kept the cameras rolling because film was expensive back then.

It reminds me a bit of Oh, What a Kick! in the way the comedy feels like it’s happening to the kids rather than they are performing it.

The Script (or lack thereof)

The writing is by Fontaine Fox, who did the Toonerville Trolley comics. You can tell because everything feels like a moving comic strip.

There isn't much of a plot, really. They want to be musketeers, they find some 'enemies' (other kids), and then things get messy in the backyard.

The dialogue is mostly kids yelling at each other to 'stand guard' or 'charge.' It’s very loud. 📣

"All for one and one for all!"

They say it about five times, and each time they get more out of sync. It’s actually pretty funny how bad they are at saying it together.

I noticed that the backgrounds always look slightly dusty. It gives the whole movie this dry, scratchy feeling that actually makes the backyard setting feel real.

It’s not like The Fairylogue and Radio-Plays where everything is trying to be magical and fancy. This is just dirty faces and wooden sticks.

The Small Stuff

• The way Mickey Rooney holds his sword is actually kind of impressive; he looks like he's practiced.
• There is a dog in a few shots that looks completely confused about why these children are screaming.
• One kid’s socks are falling down the entire time. It’s distracting once you notice it.
• The 'castle' they build is literally just some crates stacked up, and it wobbles every time someone breathes near it.

The pacing is weird. It starts fast, then there is a long middle section where they are just walking through some tall grass that goes on for way too long.

Then the ending happens so fast you might miss it if you blink. It’s very lopsided.

If you’ve seen Penrod, you know this kind of 'boyhood adventure' vibe. But Mickey's Musketeers is much more frantic and less sentimental.

It doesn't try to make you feel nostalgic for childhood. It just shows you that being a kid in 1933 involved a lot of getting hit with sticks in the mud.

The film quality is a bit rough in the version I saw. Lots of vertical lines and some flickery bits, but that kind of adds to the charm, I think.

I don't think I'd watch it twice, but I'm glad I saw it once just to see Mickey Rooney before he became THE Mickey Rooney. He was already a pro, even when he was just a kid in a cardboard hat. 🎩

Is it a masterpiece? No way. But it’s a weirdly honest look at how people thought kids should act on screen eighty years ago.