Red Hot Tires is a weirdly fast 1930s car movie

You should probably watch this if you have about an hour to kill and a soft spot for cars that look like oversized tin cans. It is a 1935 flick that moves way faster than the actual race cars do. If you hate old-timey melodrama where people over-pronounce every single word, you will probably want to skip it.

Lyle Talbot plays Wally, a guy who drives fast and talks even faster. He is teammates with Robert, but they both have eyes for the same girl, Patricia. Mary Astor plays Patricia, and she is honestly the only reason to pay close attention to the screen. She has this way of looking at the men like she knows they are being idiots, which they usually are.

The Racing Bits

The racing scenes are kind of a mess, but in a fun way. You can tell when they switch from the actors in a studio to actual grainy footage of real races. The film grain gets all jumpy and the sky changes color. It is very obvious, but it adds to the charm I guess.

There is this one moment where a car flips and the crowd just stands there. It feels like the extras didn't know they were supposed to be shocked yet. One guy in the front row is just adjusting his hat while a man is supposedly dying ten feet away. It made me laugh out loud.

Then the big tragedy happens. Wally and Robert's wheels lock up during a race. Robert dies, and suddenly Wally is being hauled off for homicide. It feels like the legal system in this movie works at 100 miles per hour. One minute he is on the track, the next he is standing in front of a judge.

The courtroom scenes are a bit dry. I found myself looking at the wallpaper in the background more than listening to the lawyers. It reminds me of the slow parts in The Beloved Bachelor where you just want them to get back to the point.

Life on the Lam

The movie gets way better once Wally decides he is not staying in jail. He goes on the run and puts on the most basic disguise ever. A pair of glasses and a different hat, and suddenly nobody knows who he is. It is the classic movie logic that always works back then.

I noticed a small detail in the garage scene later on. There is a calendar on the wall that looks totally out of place for the year. Or maybe I just don't know what 1935 calendars looked like. Either way, I spent five minutes trying to read the dates instead of listening to the plot.

Wally tries to clear his name by entered another race under a fake name. Because that is definitely what a fugitive should do—go to a place where thousands of people are staring at you. The logic is thin, but the energy is high. It is a bit like Arizona Cyclone where the hero just does whatever he wants regardless of the law.

• The engine noises sound like someone rattling a tray of silverware.
• Mary Astor's hats are the real stars of the show.
• The ending happens so fast you might miss it if you sneeze.

It is not a deep movie. It doesn't try to be. It is just a quick story about a guy who likes to drive. If you want something with more bite, you are better off with The Unknown, which is way more intense.

I liked the snappy dialogue between the mechanics though. They talk in this weird slang that I don't think anyone ever actually used in real life. "Keep your shirt on, Mac!" and stuff like that. It’s comforting in a way.

The film doesn't really care about the tragedy of Robert's death for very long. He is gone, and then we are back to the romance. It feels a little cold, but that's just how these B-movies were made. They had a schedule to keep.

Overall, it is a decent way to spend a rainy afternoon. It isn't going to change your life, but Lyle Talbot is charming enough. And hey, it is short. More movies should be this short nowadays. I give it a pass just for not wasting my time.