Ridin' On: A dusty, low-budget scrap of western history

Is it worth a watch?

If you live for dusty boots and guys shouting at each other across canyon walls, maybe. If you actually care about coherent editing or plots that don't feel like they were scribbled on a napkin during lunch, skip it. This is strictly for the folks who find comfort in the hum of a projector and the smell of old celluloid.

Ridin' On is exactly what you think it is. It is a B-western that probably cost about twelve dollars to produce, yet it carries itself like it's telling the greatest story ever sold. Bolton is the villain. Obviously. He’s got that mustache-twirling energy that makes you want to reach through the screen and just tell him to go home.

The whole thing hinges on a single bullet. You know the one. Tom Rork finds it, and suddenly he's a detective in a Stetson. It’s funny how these movies handle evidence, right? He finds a bullet with markings on it, and you just know that little piece of lead is going to be the absolute center of the universe for the next fifty minutes.

The pacing is… well, it’s a choice. There are moments where characters just stand around staring at rocks, waiting for the wind to blow in the right direction. It feels like the director just let the camera roll while everyone had a smoke break. Honestly, I didn't mind it. It’s got a weird, sleepy charm to it, kind of like Day at the Park, but with more spurs.

I caught myself counting the extras in one scene. Half of them look like they are just waiting for the craft services table to open. At one point, a guy in the background is clearly trying to keep his hat from flying off, and it’s way more interesting than the actual dialogue happening in the foreground. 🤠

The feud between the Rorks and the O’Neils is supposed to be this high-stakes, life-or-death situation. But it feels more like a heated argument over a property line. Nobody seems particularly upset, even when they’re pointing guns at each other. It’s all very polite violence.

There is this one shot of Tom Rork riding across the horizon that lasts about an eternity. It’s the kind of moment that makes you realize movies used to have a very different relationship with the concept of 'boredom.' It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s definitely a test of patience.

• That bullet. It’s definitely a prop that probably cost a nickel.
• The horses look like they’ve seen better days.
• The sound quality is… grainy. Very, very grainy.

It’s not trying to be Anna Karenina, that’s for sure. It’s a scrappy, uneven, and utterly forgettable hour of entertainment. Sometimes, that is exactly what you need on a Tuesday night when the brain is fried. It just exists, it moves from A to B, and then it ends. No profound lessons. No cinematic breakthroughs. Just a guy, a bullet, and some dust.