Romance of the Rio Grande is a dusty, loud old melodrama

You should probably watch this if you have a soft spot for those early movies where everyone sounds like they are shouting into a tin can. It’s a bit of a relic, honestly.

If you hate slow stories where people talk about 'honor' for twenty minutes at a time, you will likely want to turn this off after the first reel. It’s not exactly a fast-paced thriller.

The movie is mostly just people standing in dusty rooms or on porches looking at the horizon. It feels very much like a stage play that someone decided to film outdoors on a whim.

Warner Baxter plays the grandson, and he has this very intense way of looking at people. Like he’s trying to remember if he left the stove on back at his old place.

His character comes back to the family ranch, and the grandfather, played by Robert Edeson, is just the angriest old man you’ve ever seen. He spends most of his scenes sitting in a big chair looking like he wants to bite someone.

There is this one scene where they are all sitting at a dinner table and the silence is so heavy you can almost hear the film grain buzzing. It goes on for way too long, but it’s kind of funny in a weird way.

Antonio Moreno plays the cousin who is clearly the villain because he has a mustache and sneers a lot. He doesn't even try to hide that he’s the bad guy, which I actually respect.

The way he lurks in the shadows reminds me of some of the acting in Alias Jimmy Valentine. It’s that very specific 1920s style of 'I am being sneaky now' acting.

One thing that really stuck out to me was the sound of the horses. Every time a horse walks by, it sounds like someone is banging two coconuts together right next to the microphone.

It’s very distracting but also charming if you don’t take it too seriously. The microphones back then were clearly struggling to figure out what was a human voice and what was just... noise.

The romance part of the movie feels a bit rushed, like they realized they needed a girl in the story and just threw one in. Mary Duncan does her best, but she mostly just has to look worried while the men argue about land.

There’s a lot of talk about the Rio Grande and what it means to be a 'true' member of the family. It gets a bit repetitive after the fourth or fifth speech about it.

I found myself looking at the backgrounds more than the actors sometimes. The ranch actually looks like a real place, not just a set, which gives it a bit of grit that some other movies from this time lack.

It’s definitely more grounded than something like The Road to Ruin, which felt way more like a lecture than a movie. Here, at least there are horses and some decent scenery to look at.

There is a scene near the end where a gun gets pulled, and the tension is actually kind of good for a second. Then someone falls over in a very dramatic, polite way that makes you remember it's 1929.

The music is also very loud and sort of just starts and stops whenever it feels like it. It doesn't always match what’s happening on screen, but it keeps you awake.

I think the movie would have been better if they cut out about fifteen minutes of the grandfather yelling. We get it, he’s old and he’s mad about everything.

It’s not a masterpiece, and it’s certainly not as deep as it thinks it is. But there’s something nice about the simplicity of it all.

It’s definitely a step up from something like Fool, which I couldn't even finish. At least this one has a clear plot, even if it’s a bit dusty.

If you’ve got a rainy afternoon and you want to see how Hollywood used to do 'epic' family dramas, give it a go. Just don't expect any big twists or fancy camera work.

It’s just a bunch of people in big hats being very serious about dirt. 🌵