Why I'm still thinking about that weird 1929 short Satires

Is this worth your time?

Honestly? Only if you’re the kind of person who likes digging through digital archives for stuff that was never meant to be remembered.

If you hate static cameras and people yelling their lines at a hidden microphone, stay far away from this one. 🏃‍♂️

I found myself watching Satires on a Tuesday night when I couldn't sleep. It’s a Vitaphone short from 1929, back when movies were just starting to figure out how to talk without tripping over their own feet.

Ernie Young is the lead here. He has one of those 1920s faces that looks like it was drawn with a sharpie—lots of eyebrows and a mouth that never seems to close all the way. 🤨

The whole thing is basically just a few sketches glued together. It feels more like a recorded stage play than a movie, which is common for that era, but it’s still jarring to see how little the camera moves.

There is this one bit where Vivien Oakland comes in, and you can tell she’s trying so hard to be charismatic. She’s got that high-energy stage presence that probably worked great in a big theater but feels a bit much when she’s two feet from the lens.

The sound quality is... well, it’s 1929. There’s a constant hissing sound in the background that sounds like someone is frying bacon just off-camera. 🥓

It reminds me a bit of the stiff acting you see in Everywoman, though that one had a bit more of a budget to hide the cracks.

I think my favorite part was a specific reaction shot from John T. Murray. He looks like he’s waiting for a bus that’s twenty minutes late. Just completely checked out while the comedy is happening around him.

The jokes are weirdly long. They spend about three minutes setting up a pun that you can see coming from a mile away. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just exhausting in a very specific, old-timey way.

I wonder if people in 1929 actually laughed at the bit with the hat. Probably. They didn't have TikTok back then, so a man losing his hat was probably peak entertainment. 🎩

There’s a dance number toward the end that goes on about thirty seconds too long. You can see the dancers getting tired, and their smiles start to look a little bit like grimaces.

It’s weirdly human to see that. Usually, old movies feel like they’re made of marble, but this feels like it’s made of cardboard and sweat.

If you’ve seen The Girl of the Golden West, you know how these early transitions into sound can feel clunky. Satires is clunkier. It’s like a car engine that keeps stalling but somehow gets you to the grocery store anyway.

I kept looking at the background sets. They look so flat. Like if someone sneezed too hard, the entire room would just fall over and reveal the studio walls.

The costumes are actually pretty decent though. Ernie Young wears this suit that looks way too heavy for him. He sort of swaggers around like he's trying to keep it from sliding off his shoulders.

Is it a good movie? No, not really. But it’s a real movie. It feels like a bunch of people who were really good at their jobs on stage trying to figure out a new technology that they didn't quite trust yet.

I think I liked it more than Billy Jim, mostly because it doesn't try to be anything other than a silly distraction. It doesn't have any big messages. It just wants you to look at Ernie Young’s funny face for ten minutes.

One scene lingers so long on a silent pause that I actually checked my internet connection. Nope, they just forgot to cut the scene. Or maybe they thought the silence was dramatic. It wasn't. It was just quiet. 😶

I’ll probably forget most of the jokes by tomorrow morning. But I’ll remember the way the light hit the dust motes in the air during that final song. There’s a weird beauty in these old, forgotten shorts that you don’t get in the big polished classics.

If you're into film history, give it a look. If you just want to be entertained, maybe go watch literally anything else. Maybe Secret Marriage if you want something with a bit more plot to chew on.

Anyway, I’m glad I watched it. It made me feel like I was sitting in a smoky theater in 1929, even if the seat was just my lumpy couch. 🛋️