Seven Footprints to Satan is a total 1920s fever dream

If you have about an hour and want to see what a 1920s fever dream looks like, Seven Footprints to Satan is your movie. You should watch it if you like old "old dark house" mysteries or if you just want to see how weird movies got before the censors cleaned everything up.

If you need a plot that makes total sense, you are going to hate this. It starts with Jim wanting to go to Africa, but then there is a ruby, and suddenly he is kidnapped.

The whole thing takes place in this massive, creepy mansion. It is supposedly run by a guy who calls himself Satan, though he mostly just sits around looking smug in a cape. 👹

There is this one shot where they enter the house and the shadows are just massive. It feels a bit like The Shadow on the Wall but way more chaotic.

The movie is directed by Benjamin Christensen, the guy who did Häxan. You can tell because he loves shoving weird creatures and faces into the frame for no reason.

There is a dwarf, a guy who looks like a bird, and a gorilla that just wanders around. I am pretty sure the gorilla is just a guy in a very bad suit, but it’s still creepy in a low-budget way. 🦍

Thelma Todd plays the fiancée and she mostly just looks terrified while wearing very nice jewelry. She’s great, but the movie doesn't give her much to do besides scream at things that aren't there yet.

One scene that stuck with me is when they have to walk across these seven footprints on the floor. It is supposed to be this big scary ritual, but it mostly looks like a weird game of Twister gone wrong.

The pacing is kind of all over the place. Sometimes things happen so fast you miss them, and then the camera just stares at a door for way too long. 🚪

It reminds me a bit of the frantic energy in Kill or Cure, but without the intentional jokes. Or maybe they are intentional? It is hard to tell with these old silents sometimes.

The ending is... well, it's one of those endings. You know the ones. It feels like the writers got tired and just decided to stop the movie right there.

I found myself wondering if the house was actually a set or a real place because the hallways look like they go on forever. It's got that claustrophobic feeling even though the rooms are huge.

There is a weird scene with a staircase that just seems to lead nowhere. I love that kind of stuff. It makes no sense, but it looks cool.

If you've seen things like Border Law, this is the exact opposite of that grounded, gritty vibe. This is pure pulp nonsense.

I think I liked it? It's hard to say. I wasn't bored for a single second, mostly because I was trying to figure out why there was a guy in the background just eating a sandwich during a kidnapping.

Actually, I might have imagined the sandwich. Everything in this movie starts to blur together after twenty minutes.

It’s definitely better than some of the drier stuff from that era like Nearly a King. At least this has a cult and a gorilla.

The print I saw was a bit grainy, which actually made the spooky parts work better. It felt like watching a haunted VHS tape from 100 years ago.

Don't expect a masterpiece. It's just a very strange, very fast trip through a house full of weirdos. 🤡