Spite Marriage: Buster Keaton's last great silent hurdle

If you have about ninety minutes and want to see a man fight a tuxedo, Spite Marriage is definitely worth your time. It is perfect for anyone who likes physical comedy that looks like it actually hurt to film. People who need a fast-paced plot or can't stand silent movies should probably skip it, though.

Buster Keaton plays Elmer, who is basically a dry cleaner with a huge crush. He goes to see the same play every single night just to look at Trilby Drew. 🎭

There is this great bit early on where he is wearing a suit that is way too big for him. The sleeves keep swallowing his hands while he tries to look cool in the front row. It’s the little things that make me laugh, like how he tries to fix his hat and just makes everything worse.

Trilby, played by Dorothy Sebastian, is actually pretty great too. She isn't just a boring love interest. She is kind of a mess and uses Elmer to make her old boyfriend jealous. It is actually pretty mean when you think about it, but that's the whole point of the title.

The middle of this movie has the famous "putting her to bed" scene. Trilby is completely wasted—or maybe just exhausted—and Elmer has to get her into bed without her falling on the floor. It goes on forever and I mean that in a good way.

She is like a giant piece of wet spaghetti. He picks her up, her legs flop over. He tries to tuck her in, she rolls right out the other side. 😆

I noticed a small detail where he accidentally kicks her shoe under the bed and the look on his face is so pure. He just wants to be a good husband even though he knows she doesn't love him yet. It’s kind of heartbreaking if you stop laughing for a second.

The second half of the movie suddenly turns into an action flick on a boat. It feels like the studio forced them to add more "stuff" happening. It’s not quite as funny as Kill or Cure but the stunts are still wild.

There is a lot of running around on the deck and some guys with guns. Some of the thugs look like they just walked off the street. One guy has a beard that looks like it might fall off if he runs too fast. ⚓

Keaton does this thing where he falls over a railing and it looks like he actually broke his ribs. I don't know how he survived making these movies. He’s like a cartoon character but made of real bone and bruises.

The ending is a bit rushed, I guess. Everything gets solved because of a fire and some fistfights. It doesn't feel as clever as his older stuff like The General, but it works.

I watched this right after seeing The Shadow on the Wall and the vibe shift was crazy. Keaton just has this way of looking at the camera that makes you feel like you're in on the joke. 🤨

The picture quality on the version I saw was a bit grainy. You can see the heavy makeup on the actors' faces. It adds to the charm, honestly.

Anyway, if you want to see the last gasp of the silent era before everyone started talking, this is a solid choice. It isn't perfect. The boat stuff drags on a bit too long for my taste.

But that bedroom scene? Pure gold. I’ve rewatched that five-minute stretch three times already just to see how he handles her dead weight without dropping her on her head. 🧥

So yeah, go watch it if you want some low-stakes fun. Just don't expect a deep message about life. It's just a guy, a girl, and a lot of falling down.