The Mysterious Dr. Fu Manchu (1929) is a very weird watch

Is this movie worth your time today? Probably not, unless you are a total nerd for early sound films or want to see where the whole Fu Manchu thing started. If you like fast action or movies that don't make you feel awkward about old-school makeup, you will probably hate this one. 🎬

It’s a 1929 movie, so it has that heavy, stiff feeling that a lot of early talkies have. The microphones back then were basically giant boxes they had to hide in flower pots, so nobody moves much.

The story starts during the Boxer Rebellion. It is very loud and messy with lots of smoke and people running around in the dark.

Dr. Fu Manchu, played by Warner Oland, is actually a nice guy at first. He’s a doctor helping people, which I didn't expect.

But then a stray shell hits his house and kills his wife and kid. It is a realy sad moment, but the movie doesn't stay sad for long.

Instead, he just decides he is going to kill every British officer involved. Every single one.

Warner Oland isn't Chinese, which is the big elephant in the room. He’s a Swedish guy with a lot of glue on his eyelids and a very slow way of talking.

It’s weird because his voice is actually kind of soothing? Like he should be reading a bedtime story instead of planning to poison people.

The movie is mostly just him standing in shadows. There are a lot of shadows. 🌑

I noticed the sets are realy detailed but they look like they would fall over if you sneezed. When Fu Manchu touches a wall to open a secret door, you can see the whole wall shake a little bit.

Jean Arthur is in this, which was a surprise! She is so young here and her voice sounds different than in her later famous movies.

She plays this girl named Lia who Fu Manchu basically adopts? But he also uses her for his revenge plots, which is pretty messed up if you think about it.

There is a scene where she has to go to London and act like a normal person. It feels like it belongs in a different movie, like Pretty Mrs. Smith or something.

The British guys are all so boring. They wear these high collars that look like they are choking them.

They spend a lot of time sitting in offices talking about "the yellow peril" and other stuff that makes you want to cringe. It’s hard to root for them, even if Fu Manchu is the "villain."

The pacing is just... off. A scene will start and then just linger on a person’s face for ten seconds after they finish talking.

I think the editor forgot to cut or maybe they just liked the way the actors looked staring into space. It happens a lot in movies from this year, like in The Broken Butterfly.

There is a weird bit with a tea set. Fu Manchu is preparing tea and the camera just watches him do it for what feels like five minutes.

I actually got up to get a snack and came back and he was still messing with the cups. ☕

One thing that was cool was the USC Trojan Marching Band is listed in the credits. I kept looking for them but I didn't see a single tuba.

Maybe they were part of the crowd noise during the rebellion scenes? It’s a strange thing to include.

The movie tries to be scary but it’s mostly just quiet. The silence is the loudest part of the whole thing.

If you’ve seen The Golden Lotus, you know how these old stories about the "mysterious East" usually go. This one is the blueprint for all that nonsense.

Fu Manchu has these "scientific" traps that are basically just boxes with snakes or poison gas. For a genius, his plans are kind of basic.

I did like the detective, Nayland Smith. He is played by O.P. Heggie and he looks like he hasn't slept in three weeks.

He just walks around looking worried and smoking. I relate to him more than anyone else in the movie.

The ending is very abrupt. It just... ends.

No big explosion, no final boss fight. Just a weird moment in a room and then the credits roll.

It’s not as funny as A He-Male Vamp, which is at least trying to be a joke. This movie is dead serious.

Actually, the most interesting part was seeing how they used the camera. There are a few shots where it moves through a doorway that must have been realy hard to do with those giant cameras.

But mostly, it’s a museum piece. You look at it, you go "huh, that’s how they did it," and then you go watch something from the 90s to clean your brain.

I wouldn't watch it again. But I'm glad I saw it once? Maybe?

It makes me appreciate how much better movies got once people stopped standing still. If you want a better time, maybe check out The Quarterback instead.

Final thought: the cat in the movie was pretty cute. He didn't have to wear any makeup. 🐈