The River of Romance (1929) - Buddy Rogers gets a backbone

If you have about an hour and twenty minutes to kill and you like looking at old riverboats, you should probably give The River of Romance a look. It is not some lost masterpiece, but it is way more fun than the dusty title makes it sound.

People who love Buddy Rogers will eat this up. If you can't stand the over-the-top theatrical acting of the late twenties, you will likely find this whole thing pretty annoying.

The story is set in Mississippi back in the 1840s. Tom Rumford is the lead, played by Rogers, and he’s been raised by Quakers which means he is not about that life when it comes to dueling.

In this town, if you don't want to shoot a man over a minor insult, you are basically trash. Tom refuses a challenge and his own family basically disowns him for being a 'coward.'

There is this one shot of his face when his girl, Elvira, looks at him with total disgust. It hurts to watch because he’s just trying to be a good person, but the social pressure is just too much.

He ends up meeting this gambler named Orlando. Wallace Beery plays Orlando, and honestly, Beery steals every single scene he is in by just being loud and sweaty.

Orlando teaches Tom that being brave is mostly just acting. It is about the clothes and the way you hold your chin.

So Tom becomes "Colonel Blake." He puts on this notorious persona and suddenly everyone is terrified of him.

The movie gets way better once he starts the act. Rogers has this goofy grin that doesn't quite fit a hardened killer, which makes the whole thing feel like a bit of a commedy even when it’s trying to be serious.

I noticed the sets look a bit flimsy in the background. The "river" scenes clearly happen in a big tank or a very calm pond, because the water barely moves even when the boat is supposed to be chugging along.

There is a scene where they are all at a party and the way the extras are dancing in the back feels so stiff. It is like they were told not to pull focus from the main actors at any cost.

Mary Brian plays the love interest and she is fine, I guess. She has these massive eyes that the camera just loves to linger on for way too long.

Sometimes the film feels a bit like A Rogue's Romance but with less of the dark edge. It’s more of a fluff piece about identity.

One thing that really stuck out to me was the costumes. Tom’s "tough guy" outfit is so elaborate it looks like he is going to a masquerade ball instead of a duel.

The pacing is a bit weird because it spends a lot of time on the setup of him being a coward. We get it, he’s a Quaker, move on to the gunfights already.

When the duels finally happen, they are filmed in a very stage-y way. Lots of standing perfectly still and staring intensely into the middle distance.

I kept thinking about how this compares to something like The Reed Case. It doesn't have that mystery vibe, but it has that same 1920s obsession with "honor."

There is a small moment where Wallace Beery’s character tries to hide behind a chair. It’s supposed to be a quick gag but it’s the funniest thing in the whole movie.

The ending is pretty predictable. You can see it coming from about twenty miles down the river.

It doesn't really matter though because the charm is in the journey. Seeing Tom go from a trembling mess to a guy who scares the whole town is satisfying in a simple way.

The film is based on a play called 'Magnolia,' and you can realy tell. Most of the action happens in two or three rooms and people keep entering and exiting like they are waiting for their cues in the wings.

I wish they had more scenes on the actual boat. The boat looks cool but we only get a few glimpses of it before we are back in a parlor talking about feelings.

If you liked Salty Saunders for the old-school hero vibes, you might find this one a bit too soft. It’s more about the romance than the grit.

There's a weirdly long sequence where someone is just reading a letter. The camera just stays on the paper. We get it, we can read! ✉️

The film is a bit of a relic, but it’s a sweet one. It reminds me of those old books you find in a vacation cabin that you only read because there is no wifi.

Rogers really tries his best here. He’s got that silent movie energy where every eyebrow move is a major plot point.

Henry B. Walthall is in this too, playing the father. He’s got that old-school dignity that makes everyone else look like they are vibrating.

I missed some of the dialogue because the music in the version I saw was so loud. Early talkies (or synchronized scores) are always a gamble with the sound mix.

It’s not a movie that will change your life. It won't make you rethink the 1840s or the nature of bravery.

But it is a nice way to spend an afternoon if you like melodrama and big hats. It’s a bit messy, the plot is thin as a wafer, but the heart is there.

Just don't expect a gritty western. This is strictly a 'Sunday afternoon with tea' kind of movie. ☕

The way it handles the Quaker stuff is a bit shallow. It treats it more like a weird hobby than a deeply held belief system, but that's Hollywood for you.

Anyway, give it a shot if you find it. It's better than staring at a wall.