The Voice of Hollywood No. 12 is like a 1930s Zoom call

If you have about ten minutes and want to feel like you’ve traveled back to a time when people didn't know where to look on a camera, this is for you. The Voice of Hollywood No. 12 isn't really a movie, not in the way we think of them now. It’s more like a time capsule of people trying to figure out what 'being a celebrity' actually looks like on screen.

I think people who love old Hollywood trivia will dig this. If you’re looking for a plot or high drama like His Private Life, you are going to be very, very bored. This is just vibes and static.

Lloyd Hamilton is the host here. He’s a silent film guy mostly, but here he is talking. Or trying to. He has this frantic energy that makes me think he’s worried the equipment is going to explode.

The whole thing is supposed to be 'irreverent' but mostly it’s just people standing around in nice clothes looking slightly confused. It’s charming in a way that only old, grainy footage can be.

There’s this one part where a guest is talking and you can tell they are reading off a card just out of frame. Their eyes keep darting to the left. It’s so human. It reminded me of those really early experimental things like The Fairylogue and Radio-Plays where nobody quite knew what the medium was supposed to do yet.

The audio is a mess, honestly. There is this constant hiss in the background. It sounds like the movie is breathing.

I noticed a plant in the background of one shot that looks like it’s dying. It’s just sitting there, wilting, while these famous people chat. It’s the kind of thing you only notice when you’ve watched too many of these shorts in a row.

Some of the jokes... well, they don't really land anymore. They probably didn't land in 1932 either. Hamilton does this bit with his hat that feels like he’s done it a thousand times and is just tired of it.

It’s strange seeing how stiff everyone is. Today we’re used to stars being 'relatable' on podcasts. Here, they’re like statues that occasionally blink.

It’s a bit like watching a prototype of a car that doesn't have doors yet. You can see the idea of the Tonight Show starting to form, but it’s still mostly just a bunch of guys in a room.

I found myself wondering what the people on set were thinking. Did they think this was the future? Or just a quick paycheck?

The lighting is incredibly bright. Everyone has these tiny beads of sweat on their upper lip. You can almost feel the heat from those old studio lights coming through the screen. 🥵

It’s much more 'real' than something like The Violinist of Florence because it isn't trying to be art. It’s just trying to be content before that word was even a thing.

There is a moment where a woman walks across the background and just... disappears. The editing is so abrupt it feels like a jump scare.

I liked it, though. Not because it’s good. It’s definitely not 'good' by any normal standard. But it’s honest.

It’s a reminder that even the biggest stars in the world used to be bad at talking into microphones. It makes the whole 'Hollywood' thing feel a lot smaller and more reachable.

If you're into seeing how the sausage is made, or just like seeing Lloyd Hamilton be a bit of a weirdo, give it a look. It’s short enough that you won't regret the lost time.

Don't expect much. Just look at the clothes and the way they hold their cigarettes. That’s the real movie.

Maybe it’s just me, but there's something comforting about how awkward this is. It's like finding an old home movie of a party you weren't invited to.

Anyway, it's better than watching a modern trailer for the tenth time. 🎬