Valse Royale: Stiff Collars and Even Stiffer Feelings

Is it worth your time?

If you have a thing for period costumes and the specific, agonizing slowness of 19th-century romantic misunderstandings, you might find this charming. But if you need your films to have a bit of dirt under their fingernails or at least one scene where someone shouts, you should probably stay away. It’s very proper. Almost to a fault.

The whole thing revolves around a guy who is supposed to marry one woman but is head-over-heels for her sister. It feels like the kind of setup you’d see in Shadows of Belvedere, where the atmosphere does more work than the actual script.

Notes from the couch

• The ballroom scenes are endless. They look nice, but after the fourth waltz, you start wishing someone would just trip and spill a drink.
• The dialogue is incredibly polite. Nobody ever says what they mean, which is probably accurate for 1852 but makes me want to scream at the screen.
• I spent most of the second act staring at the wallpaper. It’s very detailed.

There’s a moment where the ambassador's son just stands by a window looking melancholy. It lingers. And lingers. I checked my watch. He was still looking out that window for another forty seconds. It wasn’t artistic; it was just a choice that made me feel like I was waiting for a bus that wasn't coming.

It’s not as energetic as The Pajama Party, that’s for sure. But then again, it’s not trying to be. It’s trying to be refined. Sometimes it works, and you get swept up in the soft lighting and the silk dresses. Other times, the pacing drags so much it feels like the reel is stuck.

Renée Saint-Cyr is doing a lot of heavy lifting with just her eyes. She’s the only one who seems to know that the plot is a bit thin. She carries those heavy, ornate gowns like she’s wearing a suit of armor. Which, in a way, she is. 🥂

Honestly, the film gets better once they stop dancing and start actually talking in the garden. The outdoor lighting is much less stuffy. It feels like the director finally let the cast breathe for a minute. Still, it’s a quiet, uneven experience. Not something I’ll watch again, but I didn't hate the time I spent in 1852 Munich. Just don't go in expecting fireworks.