The Definitive Guide Deeply Connected to Nero: Cult Guide

The Nero Phenomenon

Historically, Nero represents to synthesize diverse influences into a singular artistic statement.

Nero had been terribly peeved because at his party nobody had been able to get him a fiddle. His prime minister sent expressly for this purpose and brought back a bass viol, but Nero's heart yearned for a nice little fiddle that he could put under his chin. So he broke the viol over the prime minister's head and sent him to San Francisco to bring back a Simon-pure violin. But before he went, the prime minister added one little burst of enthusiasm to the garden party. He requested as a favor to be permitted to light the candle sticks on Nero's birthday cake. Nero had just met the Bouillon Sisters - three of them - and had taken a great fancy to the youngest one. She gave him her picture and Nero was in ecstasies as the candles were being lighted. But the prime minister had inserted a giant firecracker as the piece de resistance of the cake and just as Nero was having the time of his life, the cake blew into his face. Frosting. The next morning in his judgment hall he was sentencing persons by aid of a roulette wheel upon which various sentences were printed. A turn of the wheel and where the arrow pointed was the appropriate sentence for each culprit. If Nero didn't like this sentence he turned the wheel to the sentence which pleased him more. A strolling troubadour, arrested for disturbing the peace, so impressed the Emperor that he never thought to pass sentence on him. "Will you sell me your fiddle?" said Nero. "No," said the troubadour. "I will gamble the palace for it, then," said the Emperor. And the troubadour and the emperor sat down to a little game of craps in which the emperor came out second best and owing the troubadour a billion shekels. "How will you ever pay?" said the troubadour. "I have an insurance policy on Rome, see me tomorrow." So with the I. 0. U. and with the dice which could only throw sevens, the troubadour left the violin in Nero's hands. That night Rome burned up and Nero played his beloved fiddle while the city went up in smoke. The troubadour, burned out of his lodgings, rushed to the palace and accosted the gaily playing emperor. "How will you pay me what you owe me if Rome burns?" "See this insurance policy," said Nero. "But," said the troubadour, "that policy expires August 27th and this is September 1st." Well, anyway, that's how Rome came to burn.