Summary
Tombstone’s laziest myth, Goodrich Mudd—town loafer, card-shark, human hammock—becomes the unlikely axis of a carnival that rolls from desert dust to Chicago marble. A troupe of ostracized burlesque artists, fronted by Lida—whose smile could pawn the moon—arrives, igniting a triangular duel of wallets and want between the sheriff, a miner nicknamed Underdog, and our indolent anti-hero. One rigged poker hand later, fried chicken, champagne, and the company’s last cash reserves levitate skyward in a picnic basket, only to be intercepted by a masked grifter who funnels the loot back into the company strongbox he has already bled dry. Wardrobes are impounded; corsets become evening dress. Just as greasepaint defeat looms, a telegram from the Windy City detonates the plot: Mudd stands to inherit two million simoleons if he can metamorphose into a cultured groom, wreath his waterlogged ancestor, and marry cousin Ada within ninety-nine sunsets; refusal gifts the fortune to rival cousin Percy Vere. Ada and Percy—already entwined—plot to string Mudd along until the clock strikes hopelessness. Their conspiracy frays when lady burglars dubbed “The Spiders” filch Percy’s compromising billet-doux and ransom it for six-figures. Abductions crisscross Lincoln Park; a wreath meant for a grave drifts onto lake waves like a funeral lily. At 11:53 p.m. on the ninety-ninth night, the spiders release their fly, Mudd barges into the mansion, and—realizing Ada has balked—weds the ever-loyal Lida, checkmating every fortune hunter and turning the Blacksheep into Tombstone’s blackest, luckiest wolf.
Synopsis
To the town of Tombstone, in which Goodrich Mudd is known as the "Blacksheep," comes a burlesque company headed by Lida, a captivating woman. Mudd, the sheriff and Underdog, who works a mining claim in Tombstone and who is the boon companion of Mudd, compete to win the charmer, and in order to raise money with which to entertain Lida, Mudd, whose daily occupation is that of lolling in a hammock, plays a game of cards with the sheriff. During the game the manager of the theatrical company also takes a hand, but loses considerably. The money the manager takes from the company's cash box which is fastened to the treasurer of the company, who is handcuffed to the bedstead. Mudd takes Lida to dinner, and when he is far under the influence of wine, the burlesque queen hoists the $19 worth of fried chicken and other delicacies in a basket to the girls in the room above who have not eaten a thing for several days. But Tombstone's omnipresent bad man is always on the job, and when he sees the basket full of eats going up, he empties the contents into the cash box, which he had previously discovered and from which he had abstracted the balance of the company's receipts, lowers the box into its original place and "beats it." The theatrical manager cannot pay the hotel bill, so the proprietor attaches the wardrobe of the players, leaving them nothing but their stage costumes. Subsequently a lawyer arrives from Chicago, who tells Mudd that he has been left $2,000,000 by his aunt who recently died, and that he may obtain the fortune if he complies with the provisions in the will which are: (1) he must live in the Mudd mansion in Chicago; (2) must acquire culture; (3) must place a wreath on his grandfather's grave; (4) must get married to his cousin, Ada Steele, within 99 days; (5) if Ada refuses to marry him, he must marry someone else in 99 days; (6) to decline the terms the money will revert to his other cousin, Percy Vere. Great is the consternation of all present at the reading of the will when Mudd refuses to abide by the terms, and it is only when the crowd threatens to kill him that he finally agrees. He goes to the Mudd mansion in Chicago and takes all his friends with him. The lawyer informs Percy and Ada of the terms of the will, and as these two young people are engaged to be married, Ada contrives to get the fortune by "stringing" Mudd along until the last day when she will flatly refuse to marry him. It will then be too late for Mudd to get a wife, and the millions will go to Percy. Then he and Ada will get married. Percy and Ada go to the Mudd mansion, and Mudd tries to make love to Ada. She blows a whistle, which is the cue for Percy to come to her assistance, but he does not appear, for he has been captured by two female burglars who find upon him an incriminating letter from Ada Steele. The burglars offer to return the letter for $100,000. Some time later Ada and Percy are walking in Lincoln Park when they observe Mudd trying to put a wreath upon the spot in the lake where his grandfather met death by rocking a boat. He also recognizes the female burglars nearby, and tells them to kidnap Mudd until a certain time has passed when he (Percy) agrees to reward the burglars. They comply and Mudd mysteriously disappears. The time for Mudd's marriage is near at hand. Fearing that Percy may not live up to his word, the female burglars decide to watch him, and their suspicions are confirmed when they hear him say to Ada that the millions will soon be his and "The Spiders," whom the female burglars are called, can go hang. In revenge "The Spiders" give orders to release Mudd, who arrives at his mansion at 11:53. "The Spiders" are there, too, and they flaunt the letter found in Percy's pocket, revealing its import, and adding that Ada's absence proves that she has turned Mudd down. Mudd doesn't become alarmed, for he, at the last minute, marries Lida, who has always loved him.
