The Diamond Master (1929) Review: A lot of pointing and shiny rocks

If you are looking for a masterpiece of high cinema, you should probably keep walking. The Diamond Master is for the people who don't mind a bit of dust on their movies and enjoy watching actors work very, very hard to look surprised.

It is worth watching today if you have a soft spot for silent serials. If you hate reading title cards or get annoyed by shaky camera work, you will absolutely hate this.

The whole thing is based on a story by Jacques Futrelle. He was the guy who wrote the 'Thinking Machine' stories and sadly went down with the Titanic, which is a bit of trivia that always makes me sad when I see his name in the credits.

The plot is pretty simple. A guy named Arthur Barnett figures out how to manufacture diamonds that are indistinguishable from the real thing.

This obviously freaks out the 'Diamond Syndicate.' They act like he just threatened to delete the concept of money.

The movie is basically a series of chapters where people try to steal his secret or kidnap his daughter. It’s a lot of running around in suits that look slightly too big for the actors.

Louise Lorraine plays the daughter, and honestly, she is the best part of the whole thing. Her eyes are so big they take up half the screen, and she can look 'perplexed' better than anyone I’ve seen lately.

There is a scene in the second chapter where a guy is supposed to be sneaking into a room. He is being so loud about it that it becomes funny.

He’s knocking over chairs and breathing heavy. The 'suspense' music is doing a lot of heavy lifting there.

I noticed that the makeup on some of the villains is... well, it’s a lot. They have these dark circles under their eyes that make them look like they haven't slept since 1925.

It reminds me a bit of the vibe in The Silent Partner. But that movie felt a bit more like a 'real' film, whereas this feels like a Saturday afternoon distraction.

The diamond-making machine is my favorite part. It’s just a bunch of glass tubes and some sparking wires that look like they might actually catch fire on set.

There is no scientific explanation given, really. He just turns a dial, some smoke comes out, and boom—diamonds.

I found myself wondering how many of these extras were just people they found on the street that morning. Some of them look genuinely confused about where they are supposed to stand.

In one scene, a background character just stares directly into the lens for a solid three seconds. It’s the kind of mistake that makes these old silents feel more human to me.

It’s definitely more energetic than As in a Looking Glass. That one is a bit too much of a slog for my taste.

Monte Montague plays the 'hero' type, but he has this very stiff way of walking. It’s like he’s trying to balance a book on his head at all times.

The cliffhangers are shamelessly manipulative. One chapter ends with a car going off a bridge, and you just know the next chapter will start with them jumping out at the last second.

I love how they don't even try to make the 'cheating' look realistic. They just cut to a different angle and hope you don't notice the continuity error.

If you’ve seen Beau Geste, you know that 1920s cinema could be huge and epic. This is much smaller and scrappier.

The sets look like they are made of thin plywood. You can see the walls wobble slightly when someone slams a door.

There is a weirdly long sequence where characters are just writing letters to each other. It’s just shot after shot of hands holding pens.

I guess they needed to pad the runtime. Ten chapters is a long time to talk about rocks.

I did appreciate the location shots, though. Seeing the old cars and the dusty roads is like a little time machine trip.

It’s got a bit of that same weird energy you find in Moon Madness. Just that sense of 'we are making this up as we go.'

One of the villains, played by Al Hart, has a mustache that is truly impressive. He twirls it so often I thought he might accidentally unscrew his own face.

The fight scenes are basically just two men hugging each other and falling over. It’s not exactly John Wick, but it’s charming in its own way.

I noticed a dog in one scene that just wanders into the frame and then wanders back out. Nobody acknowledged it. It was just there, living its best 1929 life.

Compared to something like Sunshine and Gold, this feels a bit more cynical. Everyone is out for themselves here.

The ending is exactly what you think it will be. There are no big surprises, just a lot of relieved people and a wedding probably waiting in the wings.

I wouldn't go out of my way to find a pristine 4K restoration of this. The scratches and the grain actually make it feel better.

It’s a bit like Some Judge in that it’s mostly a curiosity now. Something to watch when you’re bored on a rainy Tuesday.

Final thought: If you like seeing how people used to make 'action' movies before computers existed, give it a look. Just don't expect it to change your life. 💎