Take Your Choice

Summary

Dick, a socialite of questionable impulse control, finds himself the victim of a political wager that renders him a peripatetic absurdity: he must navigate the urban landscape on roller skates while adorned in the rigid formality of evening attire. This kinetic collision between high-society decorum and low-brow slapstick inevitably draws the ire of the constabulary. In a desperate bid for evasion, Dick hitches a ride on a passing vehicle, only to discover—with the cruel irony of a Greek tragedy—that it is a police transport bound for the precinct. The subsequent courtroom appearance dissolves into a choreographed ballet of destruction, where Dick’s involuntary momentum results in the physical humiliation of the presiding judge. Faced with a draconian six-month sentence of solitary confinement, Dick is granted a reprieve via paternal intervention, contingent upon his immediate entry into the bonds of holy matrimony within a week. What follows is a frantic, epistolary disaster; Dick dispatches five desperate proposals, intending to marry the first respondent, only for his over-zealous butler to ensure all five are delivered. As a quintet of eager brides-to-be descends upon his household, Dick’s genuine affection for a new arrival—his father’s partner’s daughter—is jeopardized by the cacophony of his own accidental polygamy. The narrative concludes not through Dick’s agency, but through a providential confession from the domestic staff, restoring order to a world nearly unraveled by a single election bet.

Synopsis

In consequence of having lost an election bet, Dick (Bobby Vernon) is obliged to roller-skate about town in evening clothes and a top hat. Of course, he eventually runs afoul of the police and in eluding pursuit hooks on the rear end of an auto, which turns out to be a police department car en route to the station house. In court, Dick's skates precipitate a series of accidents in which the judge fares badly. His honor, incensed, sentences Dick to six months solitary confinement, but upon the plea of Dick's father, who is a friend of the judge, sentence is suspended with the proviso that Dick gets married within a week. Matrimony doesn't appeal to Dick but neither does six months solitary confinement. He writes five proposals to as many fair candidates. Having chosen one of the five letters at random, he drops it in the mail box. The family butler finds the remaining four letters on Dick's desk, and true to the training of a good butler he mails them without Dick's knowledge. At this juncture, father's partner arrives with his pretty daughter. Love at first sight. All's rosy - till the girls, who have received Dick's unauthorized proposals, get busy. Each, of course, is just wild to deliver the fatal "Yes!" to Dick's offer of marriage. Complications galore. Eventually, Dick loses his real sweetheart, and father, disgusted, cuts him off without a cent. "But what's a man without an inheritance!" chorus Dick's quartet of fiancee's as they promptly exit. Dick disgraced; the girl inconsolable; both fathers wrathful. Then the butler to the rescue: "I wrote those letters to the young ladies, sir, to help Mr. Dick get married!" he explains. Reconciliation and kisses.